Field of Four Leaf Clovers

Horse Sense & Sensibility

2010-11-18T03:31:00.000-08:00

One thing never ceases to amaze me about riding horses. They are saints with hooves, their patience seems endless at times. The more I improve how efficiently I sit and move on my horse, the more willing he becomes. Behavior 'issues' become forgotten fights in which we used to engage. You would think that in a way they were training us. I behave and move more properly when you let me. That makes you happy, now always do it that way. Still we fall into bad habits and blame the horse for being naughty or spooky or just a jerk. How arrogant we are when we don't look inward. We don't look at what we are really saying with our bodies. Maybe it's complacency, I've ridden for X number of years I know how to do this or that. It amazed me though, watching a dressage clinic not too long ago, how many riders were only told to work on their basics. Riders I felt were way beyond that skill level. No upper level movements, just walk and trot centered and balanced.

My new instructor, as of late, half apologized because our first two lessons were so basic. I laughed and thanked her and said I NEEDED basic. I hadn't had a lesson since June when she came out at the end of October. She put me in a dressage seat, sat me up, stirrups dropped 3 holes. Boy, did I need basics. It felt like I had hardly ridden before. But I learned how to properly follow his mouth at the walk, make and keep him walking with lots of forward, stop clamping through my thigh, keeping my hands still and guiding/directing more with my legs. Simple. I knew this stuff, just didn't realize how ineffectively I was executing.

Last night I didn't make it out to the barn until the sun was almost already down. I rode anyways. While I was on him the BO's son came and did stalls, brought in the other horses and threw grain. I couldn't have done that before. He would have started misbehaving, I would have responded improperly and we'd have been in a fight that I would have given in for safety's sake. Not last night. Yeah, he looked, stopped at the gate once, slowed down another time. No spooking in the skeery dark. All from doing the basics with confidence, not engaging in the fights/naughty behavior, not just last night but for a few weeks now. He just behaved. He knew he was better off behaving because it might physically be the same person in the saddle., my responses and aids were more effective and consistent - he just knew it wasn't worth the fight either. That amazes me. And I have never been so happy on a horse (in my adult life).

So, I am going to continue to work on me equating to lots of saddle time. All he has to work on is doing what he knows, eating more so he puts on a few pounds and muscles up more too. His hay steamer has done amazing things for him too - NO cough even when he first starts trotting; that also makes me crazy happy. I would buy it again in a heartbeat and wish I'd have done it sooner! I recommend them to anyone with a heavy horse. Oh, and I plan to update this a bit more often... been awhile.

Overdue update

2010-03-30T04:41:00.000-07:00

I remember as a kid looking always forward to the next great thing, a holiday, day off you know 'fun' stuff. These days? Fun stuff, schmun-stuff. I look forward to the days I'm not fighting fires. Simple, 'normal' days... That's enough for me.

I was way overdue an update, though I actually wrote a couple posts I never posted. I was in a funk so it was better I didn't post.

Gator had an awful COPD attack & has completed a course of steroids. Hay always soaked from now on. I'm looking at a hay steamer. He has been turned out in the actual pasture with his one pasture-mate (we'll call him 'D'). He immediately declared Gator the boss & they get along like peas & carrots.

The girls had their yearly well-pooch check. Vet has no ideas except low thyroid on Autumns bald spot either. Turns out her thyroid is a bit low so we're adjusting her meds.

It's been 'normal' the past week (I hesitate to write that... I think I keep jinxing myself...). I am so grateful for normal. Miss everyone!

Boos Butt, work and stuffs

2010-03-05T06:10:00.000-08:00

Of course I can't simply comment so I am posting to essentially discuss.

Autumn's rump is still perplexing me. I don't put anything on it anymore. There is hair just no undercoat ie FLUFF which she has so much of everywhere else. I'm hoping time willbe all she needs but an occasional limp (weather fronts or laying on it to long) and a nekkid spot may be what she most visibly will take from her broken leg ordeal.

My plan with Gator is togo slow... He'll be 16 this year and he's in good shape for the mst part, why push it, right?

The job is leaps & bounds better than my last. I should have said that. I'm a people watcher/observer by nature. I share a large cube with 3 other ladies. All 3 are great but one... Well some people I guess spend their whole lives fighting themselves and focused on me-me-me ... This one in particular also talks A LOT. I just want to grab her and say IT ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, if you'd see that you would be happier and more pleasant. I can't though. There's of course a lot more to it but that's the jist of the vent. :)

Spring, people & gettin' back on - in no particular order

2010-03-03T05:04:00.000-08:00

Well, this weather is nasty. I love snow but even for me it's unwelcome today. I live in Hampton Roads Virginia for heavens sake! Enough already! Last weekend was cloudy and windy but pretty nice, warmer, felt like spring. I am ready for Spring especially when it comes to riding.

Speaking of which, I did ride this weekend. Both Saturday & Sunday. Not much accomplished really but it was wonderful. I didn't realize on Saturday that Gator hadn't had breakfast yet. It was also very windy. I had not ridden in... A couple months probably, embarrassingly enough. He was ready to go, had to fuss at him for literally hitting the gas before I was all the way on. I was still glad he felt that good though. When the grain was thrown he could hear but he was a good boy. We did only a little walking & trotting; it probably was only 15 minutes. I called it good and let him go eat. He's jiggly and still coughed a little so a short ride was okay. Sunday was 20-30 minutes still walk & trot, still quite windy but we were good. He thought about being silly once but I didn't mind. It's amazing how so many muscles can be so sore from such short rides; I guess I'm jiggly too. I wonder if he's sore... He coughed some still again but worked out of it pretty well. I think work is good for his breathing, not too much or too hard but it makes him take some deeper breathes, has to be good. So it was a good weekend.

Now, to people... People are the strangest of creatures to me. Dogs, horses, most critters are nothing if not honest, especially with themselves. They never feel the world revolves around them (well, Autumn might sometimes) but at least not the way a person can. It amazes mw to no end how a person can be SO self centered and still truly believe they are always putting others first. How contradictory! This kind of person need so much help and direction but can't even comprehend it from their knowing how perfect they are. It can be to the point they're actually almost a bad person. How crazy is that? Work is funny because you meet so many kinds... Unfortunately I am an understudy of someone like this. I don't dislike the person but sometimes what is said and done in the name of goodness is so... Not nice or good at all it's striking. Now said person really likes me so but to almost the point of a curse when 'good intentions' are like burden and I am so very different from them- of they believe I am JUST like them. Good thing I learn quickly and can start to limit, at least to a degree, my need to shadow this person. I luckily do work with many other good people who are pleasantly wonderful and my boss, I have found, is an amazing person. So I don't have anything to complain about - I'm actually not complaining just observing I guess someone who is detrimental to themselves. I guess I feel bad for them. Living just for you is awful lonely.

'Guest' bloggers day..

2010-02-14T08:29:00.000-08:00

THAT is my shame. I know my momma told you all about my horrible sister breaking my leg, my surgery, my wonderful recovery and ... this. My fluff has returned just fine elsewhere; almost unnoticable after my most recent trim/grooming. EXCEPT that spot. I'm mortified. There are some hairs but they just don't seem to want to grow very fast. My undercoat seems to be protestsing entirely there. I DID have razor burn there and a minor infection which I blame on mom's other big brown dog (of whom I am no fan) and mom. It seems to be under control but the hair is still holding a strike. I'm not pleased and mom is started to fuss over it... I think I'll just wear a coat for the rest of the winter to hide it. I'll need a new plan come spring. Ideas are welcome.

Me back in... I think it's due to her thyroid and the slight funk she had. I think it was the same funk Gator had, but I was bad for a bit and had run out of gloves when cleaning his funk... I think I must have come home and scratched her rumpus without washing my hands really well. Bad mommy. It is continuing to look better (this pic is actually a week old) and I see some more growth. She really does hate my bothering with it though, even just looking at it. And, she just has to be cold there! In time I hope it fills in...

Okay, next...

She moved me. Again. Now, I'm a pretty easy going guy and all, but sheesh!

It was better than last time though. I had some warning, she came by checked me over, packed up my stuff so I could watch while munching my hay. I also got to say bye to my buddies. I do miss those guys... Anyways, I had my own paddock when I got there. It's much easier to check things out when I'm not running from someone grumpy about my appearing in their field...

The trip wasn't too bad pretty short, we never went too fast either. No rough stops or starts.

I was ready to get off the trailer to see where I was once we parked; it didn't smell familiar. I unloaded on the road, which wasn't busy of course, and walked down the long lane with mom, past some horses to the barn. Two girls ran over, a bay and a gray, they were kinda cute. There was a gray gelding in their field with them that didn't leave his hay, I don't blame him and another chesnut gelding in the riding ring who didn't give me more than a look.

First thing I noticed is there is grass at this place! Even right now! Mom walked me over to this little... shed thing, which was fenced in. Something smelled funny there so I was interested. All of a sudden a white, very short horse (or was it a dog?) with horns popped it's head out! Then, in the strangest accent it said 'Maaahh'! I was slightly taken aback, but mostly at the accent and I'm not it's 'Ma'. Then a peppered black and white head popped out and they said more to me in their strange accent and language. They were weird, but there was grass.

Mom let me hand graze next to the weird smelling horned dogs for a few minutes, and kept telling me I was a good boy. Then she put me in my paddock which shares a fence line with the odd accented horned dogs. I got hay and forgot them.
I watched mom fuss over moving my stuff she'd packed up into her new locker, and mygrain into the hay/grain room chatting with the new people. I called to see if I knew anyone at this joint a few times but my hay was good. I wasn't too worried. I could see the guy in the riding ring well, the other three some of the time and they'd talk to me when I talked to them. Mom hung around and talked to me, watched me, put my salt thing up in my stall and cleaned my bucket.

Mom left for a little while and came back. She brought my BLANKET!!! OMG! That hussy has been holding out on me! Oh, I nickered at my blanket as soon as I saw it! She dusted it off, and I watched longingly. I sniffed it and helped shimmy it down my neck and back as soon as she offered. Oooooh that was nice! Hot DOG I have my blanket on! Good thing too, mom said something about the 20's tonight, I think that's cold. She gave some treats, hung up one of my horse lolipops in my stall (mmmmm). And talked more with the barn owner about my food. I like when the people are all on the same page about my food. I like my food.
The new people are nice. They fed me and put me in a nice stall, a little smaller than I'm used to but nice! I had my blanket on and my food so I wasn't complaining.
Mom came by this morning. The new people had already fed and turned me out with hay in my paddock, next to the smelly horned dogs. I'm not really scared of the smelly horned dogs, but I'm suspicious. Today they came out and were playing and lounging in the sun. What weirdos! They butt their heads together and rake their horns on the wire on the inside of their pen! That sounds funny... just like their accents... anyways though, this seems okay. Mom seems happy and she fussed over me a bit this morning, interupting my hay but no one took it while I was gone and she gave me carrots. That was alright.

Did I mention though that I have my blanket on?

That's me pre-blanket... the snow had melted as the sun popped out here and there. Down there is the smelly horned dog shed.

See my blanket? See me watching the smelly horned dogs? They came out of their shed this morning... they just better not come get my hay.

No, seriously... what are they doing?

Those are my new digs... pretty sweet. Wash stalls, which I checked out and approved and cross ties... man I missed those, I like to try and bite them while Mom grooms me. Back to my hay...

So... it went well and safely which is most important. He seems happy and I'm glad to have him there. I really am. He's closer by 5-10 minutes, will have one herdmate once they're settled who is the other new older gelding who apparently doesn't care about much. Perfect! Oh and not to mention I really like these people and their son. Here's to hoping the third time is the charm!

Happy Valentines Day!

T-1 day

2010-02-12T03:36:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow we're moving Gator. Again. Of course weather permitting.

I am contemplating stock in Ulcerguard. I am hoping so very much he will remain at this location for an appreciable amount of time. His coug has gone away. His scratches are not gone but close! I miss him. I miss riding him and spending time with him in general. Being less than happy with the barn, the weather, the cold, the general winter blahs have had the best of me when it comes to him. I really hate that I let it.

I did notice, despite the cold and bits of snow laying around that slight hint of spring yesterday in the evening as I walked the girls. I always felt like I detected her presence before the general populous. I was energized. I am glad I'm moving him. I don't have the slightest reservation about this new place. I think we'll get to enjoy seeing spring erupt together there. For me, from horseback, Gators back, my favorite vantage point in the whole world.

Crackberry woes

2010-02-03T03:31:00.000-08:00

Yup... I can post but I can't comment. HOW does that make sense? I thought ncc had trouble commenting from her BB? I'll figure it out :). I can read blogs just no commenting.

Oh & we are all well by the way:)

Test...

2010-02-02T03:48:00.001-08:00

I am posting from my new Crackberry. Not sure what I think of this thing... Hopefully I can figure out how to post a comment on blogger. Any suggestions?

Boarding

2010-01-17T07:41:00.000-08:00

So... it's been a long time since I posted. Holiday were crazy but good.

Autumn has healed well - she's released 100% back upon the world next week. She wants to know why not now, she really feels as though her leg is fine. Lily's still... well Lily, a mess but good.

My boy is alright. I, however, am frustrated. He'll be 16 this year, no foal, to say the least. He has an issue or two. What 16 year old horse doesn't? A very rare one. In fact his issues are all VERY managable. He needs shod a certain way - done. He's starting to get mild arthritis but heck, who doesn't? He has developed mild COPD/Heaves... turnout, grass, hay that's wetted if necessary. Not THAT hard unless he's having an attack - which if he's managed properly is very rare if ever. And actually that's his only issue requiring real 'management'. It's not an issue at all when managed. It's a common condition in older horses as well - the second leading cause of loss of use behind joint issues in horses. And, it's MANAGEABLE.

But, what if where he's living isn't really able to really manage it? I'm running into that. Ideally he'd be out in a run-in 24/7. On decent grass. Not possible where he is.

I look around at other barns here and the options are pitiful. I've even stopped caring at all about price. It doesn't matter; I'll pay WHATEVER I have to take care of him. Even the insanely expensive places lack decent pasture and usually don't offer field board because they're worried they'll nick themselves on something if they're out mroe than 4 seconds of the day becaue they're show barns. He needs to be out, really to be honest all horses do.

He is happy with his herdmates. He likes his caretaker/s. I haven't been able to ride much due to weather and lack of a ring. He seems to wonder why. I have to run out and medicate most days which is difficult.

I know any boarding barn will have it's issues. I hate to THINK about moving him again. I know I have a very high standard of care for my animals. Plus, let's face it - ask 20 horse people how they manage horses and you'll get at least 21 different answers. Where's the happy medium though? Where's the place that isn't perfect but has tolerable 'issues' and takes care of my horse properly with safe facilities? At this point if I could find that, I'd deal with 'barn drama' between myself and other boarders. I guess I'm a dreamer thinking a place that I'm paying for could possibly have what my horse and I actually need - I don't even want fancy. Why's that so hard? Seriously?

Jack and Jill rode up the hill...

2009-11-22T18:46:00.000-08:00

I don't think Gator and I have done that much hill work ever. In fact I bet he'd never done much of any since before he moved to Virginia when he was purchased as a youngster, if even then. His new barn has some hills, not mountainous hills, but hills.

So, I rode him on Saturday. We had not been in the 'lower' field which does have a few things in it. There's a big old water tower thing that is on it's side, a brush pile and the huge power line towers too. So I knew some looking and snorting was in store. You'd think I'd lounge him but no. I like him froggy. Counter intuitive from my last wimpy worried post? Yeah. Totally. I'm not truly scared of my horse though and he tried me and I had fun. He looked sound so I hopped on.

Pre-ride my wimpy side said I wouldn't canter. Ha! Gator and the cowgirl in me had other plans I guess.

Gator was good with the 'new woods' and the brush pile, the power line towers were no problem. The fallen water tower was a skeery beast. No he wasn't bad but I made him go between it and the fence and I knew he wouldn't like it. He tensed up and started trotting I sat deep, said whoa and touched his mouth. Bad idea. I got a quick spook, we cantered away from the thing and he bucked a few times to let me know he was not interested. I couldn't help but laugh at him, tell him he was fine and he stopped. I made him spook by that light touch on the bit, had I just let him calmly trot by and told him it was okay we'd have had no such drama. Oh well, alls well that ends well though right? We went back I made him face and look at it. I let him turn he trotted a few steps away and was then fine. Something to work on, on my end. Trusting him not to blow and keeping his reins tossed out. Tough but I can reteach myself, my muscles, to do it.

I also must say despite not riding really in... a month at least? More actually. I felt very secure the whole ride. Might be the saddle...

We visited the BO's and their kids who were working on building new fence in a connecting field. Gator stood like a statue when her little girl came over, put his head down, ears forward for some scritches. Good boy.

Then we went back to the lower field and did a bit of work on those hills. He was choosing it at first actually - even the super steep spots. I let him use his momentum off the big hill to roll from a trot into a canter through the flat lower part of the field and back around to the other side of the hill. He never wanted to canter up the hill though... I love cantering up hills. Then again, maybe he never has with a rider? Then we'd trot up the hill and collect when walking down the other side. After a few laps this became a bit difficult and he wanted to trot down. When he really didn't want to hold himself, I decided he's had a lot of time off and well, hills are hard! We explored around the new obstacles and paths a little more and called it a day. We had fun. That was my goal anyways.

Then he got a full bath which is his last until sometime next spring. I also cleaned his sheath, hooves oiled, scratches leg scrubbed and slathered up with goo. Then I realized he was cold. I turned him out, where he promptly had a hissy and ran, showing off like a fool around the field much to the confusion of his herd mates. He'd already rolled in his stall (which required me to re-rinse him as his stall hadn't been picked yet... thanks buddy.) so he didn't roll. I'm not sure if he was feeling good, just cold or throwing a tantrum because he was cold and/or I didn't give him his cookie when I turned him loose. Probably all of the above.

Then I pulled out his sheet and popped it on him in the field. Bad idea. Not because of Gator; I slipped it right over his head (he even helped) but um... BO's younger geldings must not have seen many blankets/sheets before. Gator became the navy blue moving monster. And he didn't know it. I almost got trampled. My bad. I was a little worried b/c the belly straps were longer than I wanted, though I did get them clasped before the peanut gallery descended upon us. Gator was clueless why he was spooking. He had no idea HE was the booger, which was a bit funny. The pony was the first to figure out it was Gator and not care. Then I caught him, pulled him out of the field and tightened the straps to my liking then turned him back out. He looked content. I was too.

I'd spent 5 hours at the barn. Oops.

Anyways.... here's a pic of the cold wet Gator in the barn.

We're upping his hay and feed. I can see the faint hint of a rib and his winter coat his loooong. Wooly booger, he is. However, he looks good me thinks despite his funk. Whichs follows...

Erm... fuzzzy...

Upside down but the best shot I got. I clipped it yesterday, I wish I'd have done that sooner. Different vets recommend different things about clipping the area though. Not sure though if you can see the large pinkish area of unhappiness but it's pretty large. However, most of the pink area is where it's healed. We're rolling into week 3 of antibiotics and super sekret special cream which has made this look 1000x better. The swelling is pretty much gone though comes back now and again. He's sound though so I guess it's just going to require more persistence and time.

And, additionally, for your viewing, here's Autumn the first full day after she got home from surgery after a 4 hour drive that night:

Not a happy leg to say the least. Not a happy Boo. She was very put out I was taking her picture in this condition too.

These aren't very good but are her in her kennel last night. They show the fuzz coming back in. She's doing really great and has accepted kennel life as the norm. Wants to bounce like Tigger every now and again thought when out- tried to hop on the couch last night actually. So she's feelin' pretty fine! Just 5 more weeks of prison and healing. We've settled into it much better than I anticipated.

And, so goes the infirmary that is my bunch o' critters. :)

Long Time, No Post

2009-11-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

Well, since my last post (which it almost pained me to look over) much has happened. It's been hectic to say the least but so it goes, I guess. Lily (in play) crushed Autumns right rear leg requiring a full plate and nine screws to put the Humpty-Boo back together again. Gator's small spot of scratches (dew poisoning, mud fever, whatever you call it) about the size of a nickel, on the back of his left pastern blew up into a full blown nastiness including a secondary bacterial infection during the week I was paying all my attention to Miss Autumn. The Funk-spot, in it's full glory, is about the size of... well almost his entire pastern and included a decent amount of swelling and lameness at the height of it's funkiness. It was a lovely SURPRISE when I got to the barn after taking care of Autumn all week.

Monday Autumn had her stitches out - aside from trying to bounce all over the vet clinic she was a good girl. She doesn't seem to want to be told she broke her leg merely 19 days ago; instead she's feelin' quite froggy. I stopped her pain meds early, didn't matter. She's TRYING to hold it together for us though and surprisingly has taken to inhabiting a crate 95% of her time better than I thought. I'll post some pictures when I get home of the day we got her home and I'll take some tonight for comparison. Her 'haircut' is blasphemous but, hey, ya' gotta do whatcha gotta do. She's less ashamed when she first got home, but she does have some fuzzies coming in thank Heaven. I am very content with her progress.

Now Gator not so much and I have no idea if it's unfounded or not. At full Funk, the swelling which had run half way up his cannon bone - as in the whole tendon on the back was one with his leg, no indention to define it but no heat. He was also lame and didn't want to bend his fetlock but felt he must bend it to keep it from you as it was mucho ouchy. It's much improved.

Now, when he comes in from turnout the medial side is normal looking from the front and the tendon is better defined. The outer part/distal side above his ankle is still swollen and I think his pastern is puffier than the other. However, he's quite the woolly booger and that leg has some... er... dappling? (That's not the term but he has a sock that transitions to bay with black and white speckles. I forget what that's called.) So it could be just a visual color trick of sorts and ruffled fuzzy from my messing with it. I don't think so but there's no heat, he seems sound when on the rare occasion he needs to prance in the field. After being in at night the inner side above his fetlock/ankle medial and distal sides are puffy but as I said with turnout, it goes down. The actual funk spots are looking better but not 100% yet.

The funk was strong with this one and had gotten a good deep hold, especially in that crease on the back of his pastern. I'm JUST seeing how deep that cracked skin was - AFTER 10 days of SMZ's (some people call it TMS whatevs) and a lovely topical concoction which is officially THE Poo. Every few days or so I give it a good scrub with Betadine Scrub to knock off scabbies/dead skin and assess. He no longer wants to kill me for this. This is NOT a horse that kicks at people, even just to say go away. I may need to extend those SMZ's to 14 days (*sigh*).

I guess I thought the swelling would have dissipated completely by now but no. Now, maybe he needs more work/movement - I know he's not cantering laps for fitness in his field. He's slowly meandering around looking for grass and maybe trotting/cantering a stride or two if say a deer happens to spook the group. Not much exercise. Thoughts? I'm going to pester my vet today because, well, I'm like that.

I know things take time to heal. No doubt time is quite the necessity in getting back to normal after a funk like he had. I may just be tired. Nay, I am tired. The infirmary that includes the majority of my critters for the past 2+ weeks is getting to me.

I'm feeling good about Autumn. I need to feel better about Gator, soon. I just do. I will scrub off his funk tonight and snap a pic for your viewing pleasure of the glory that is his Funk spot. Poor monkey. Had I realized I'd have made more of an effort to go see him the week Autumn was home... but alas there are so many hours in a day, ya' know?

P.S. He misses work. I had left my saddle at the barn and finally remembered Sunday to take it home. I walk past his pasture to get to my car. He followed me, nickering, all the way to my car. He never does that. He saw the saddle/bridle. It made me grin to myself, I must admit.

NOW... after this hiatus of riding... there's a 'nervous' creeping up on me. 1) The feeling 'What if me riding hurts him?' is there, again. 2) We didn't do much last time I rode. At all. Time before that he fell with me. That keeps seeeeeping in (damnit.). Not fear of riding, but um, to ride him. Because he fell. I know that's stupid but as I've done here before, admitting those things helps. I've seen him tear around the field just fine. So I keep telling myself #1 is my old silliness and he's not a fragile glass ornament, he's a horse. Same for #2 actually... but this is uneven terrain and new and... darn my over active brainium...

I hope to have a better outlook and some more fun tails to tell soon.

Two Year Anniversary in Asheville, NC

2009-10-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

This one was at Chimney Rock Park. It was raining but we went hiking anyways because it rained the day before and the girls were not impressed with this 'vacation' we'd talked up so much. So we said who cares. We could see NOTHING of the views which are spectacular thanks to the heavy fog. Probably okay though, there were over 450 stairs to go up and down with the girls to get to the top of the Chimney Rock. No dogs in the elevator (except of the service variety). We did all the other trails the waterfall was the prettiest.

We took the Blue Ridge Parkway on our way out. The clouds had cleared... some. So we got a few good fall foliage shots these are just a couple. Two wabba heads are blocking the first one though.

These were taken on Grandfather Mountain. This was some serious hiking compared to the day before. Climbing up down and over large slick boulders is interesting with dogs on leashes. Their 'wait' command was so, so, so necessary. Lily led because Autumn was very spun up and does pull when excited. Lily was listening exceptionally well so she and I led. The top pic with Mike and the girls... the girls may look nervous. Well, they were. We're pretty sure there was a bear nearby but yes we snapped a picture because why not? Lily was really worried sniffing every leaf along the trail edge and Autumn just wanted to go 'get' something in that area. Mike thought he smelled something rather awful too. I didn't but I'd had a headache all week and decided we should listen to Lily. She's a good trail guide it turns out.

After we got to the very rocky end of the trail... we found out that trail was closed. Possibly because of the fog... or bears. At the beginning there was a sign that bear had been spotted that we hadn't taken too seriously. So, I'm just glad we didn't see any. We took another trail back to the lower parking lot it was a bit easier going. Also decided to forego the main attraction here too (the Mile High Bridge) as many, many people were up there and I figure the girls would have behaved but been nervous so high up on a bridge. The fog was blocking the view at that elevation still so... back down the very rocky trail we went.

This is just Autumn showing us all how a pillow should be fluffed. She the best pillow fluffer. Ever.

Her daddy was loading the car to go. She was content with staying. She parked herself there and wasn't all that interested in leaving. I think vaction was okay with the girls. Mike and I had fun too. It was really fun to take them along. I think they made us do more outdoorsey things which we both really enjoyed too, despite the less than cooperative weather.

Horse Song

2009-10-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

(photo by Jamie Williams)

Ha... it seems singing is so common with equestrians or humming to calm yourself and your horse. I thought I'd discovered something unique to me when I started doing it... how he visibly relaxed and so did I. :) Then the more blogs I read the more I found out it's so common - especially those that ride alone. I think the wonderful Sally Swift even suggests it, says you have to breath if you're talking or singing to your horse... but don't quote me on that. I don't have the book with me. However, I did most definitely used to hold my breath.

I remember the first time, on a day I was especially nervous I sang ... he'd apparently not had someone sing from his back. His head came up, his ears went CRAZY... 'What, mom?' Not sure if it was cue he didn't know or what. And then he just settled after a bit. Now he cocks one ear back and relaxes.

I usually sing 'Rodeo Road'. Holly Williams sings it and it was on the Flicka soundtrack. Yes, I liked a song out of Flicka (the movie makes me mad though...) embarrassing, but I like the song. Sort of depressing song but very calming... at least to me.

'When I reach the end of Rodeo Road
Don't shed no tears for me
When I reach the end of Rodeo Road
Set my pony free.

From a stick horse
To a quarter horse
The saddle has been my home
I've always walked in leather boots
I've always rode alone.

When i reach the end of Rodeo Road
Don't shed no tears for me
When I reach the end of Rodeo Road
Set my pony free...'

To be honest, reading the lyrics they are depressing. I can be that way though so it sort of fits. I'm a pretty solitary person too. Also before I even rode, I always saw myself doing it. When I started riding I really did feel at home there. Some people retreat to others, I retreat within - you can do that with horses. They don't pester you. So... yeah, that's where I go now.

I sing a few other things too but mostly that song when I'm really nervous and nothing else comes to mind. I think he likes the 'free pony' part and maybe hearing I feel at home there, with him. He also, I assume prefers if I sing 'Arab horse' instead of 'Quarter horse'. Understandable really.

Anyways... in addition here's a cool website to check out. I love it. The pics and stories are amazing. I bet if you haven't seen it, most of you guys will love it too. Enjoy!

Where'd my Mojo go?

2009-10-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

My drive to the barn was panicky. I keep fearing I'm going to show up to a three legged lame horse. I know it's stupid. I really do. I have mentioned though I have great fear over hurting him though right?

Anyways... I get to the barn, the vet is there doing shots on the last gaggle of new horses that had arrived to board there a week ago. I decide I better grab him quick in case he's off since the vet is already on site. I also grab another very horse experienced girl to get her opinion on his soundness. I don't *think* I see anything... but what I see I think I'm imagining or am I missing something... The swelling actually did look slightly better today.

I go to free lounge him in the round pen. I'd forgot to grab a whip. Guess who decided to only trot small evasive circles only as he pleased... but still very up. Grrr... She laughed and said no need to put him down just yet, of course kidding. She said ride. I know him well enough I'll feel a difference and I should go ride. I know she's right. I tack him up.

Take him to the ring. Everyone seems to have apparated at this point. Stretch and such as we walk two full laps both ways on the rail then I ask for a trot.

Off we went... several laps of the trot and stretching his back, his head is down (almost too far... durn peanut roller...) and I don't *think* I feel any irregularity in the gait. I try and count the beats and they seem rhythmic. Good. I ask for him to extend a little because he's being pokey and looky - two, three, four strides with more and more extension, and canter! Well then. It was also QUITE forward. Half halt, he really listened. I guess you don't feel too bad do ya' buddy? I let him canter a few laps - first time cantering in this saddle. I barely shifted weight into my seat to ask for the extended gait and got a canter... hmmm... Reversed. Cue for canter - no ears flattened no fuss, just departed. Saddle must feel pretty good to him. No slippage. No problems. Our downward transitions are smoother... way smoother. He rebalanced much faster and easier. Actually listened to light half halts and fell easily back into a trot. Interesting.

Now what about me? I'm not sure if I'm just not used to the deeper seat but it was the first time I thought should I have a tinge more room - though I felt VERY secure though. I *think* I'm just not used to the deeper seat yet.

I decide we should go for a short hack. We open the gate - he was a bit impatient but it's not allowed anymore and it only took three tries. He's starting to 'get' opening the gate. We do it my way or no way. We also shut the gate. That was new and he did very well.

He was more interested in going back to the barn than down the trail. He's always goofier in the evenings and it was quite cool and he hasn't been worked hard at all in... oh, over a week easily. I expected this.

Every third step he tries to turn back. Block. Tries to turn the other way. Block. If I blocked too hard he'd trot -but did come back down easily which was nice. But oh was he so worried! He's a faker. He wants his dinner. I start singing or talking to him, he relaxes and goes on. Something in the woods he *thinks* of starting at and doesn't. I realized I'm sort of tense - 'butt clenchy'. Talk, try and relax. Bam - something sets him off. I think he imagined it. I totally grab his face. Damnit. I haven't done that in forever ... he runs after I get in his mouth. Of course he does. Damnit.

And we're galloping. He's not too interested in stopping but we're in a big hay field on the path cut for riding so I know it wasn't unsafe so I don't slam him into a one rein stop either. I think I felt bad for grabbing his mouth when he jumped. He did slow and he did come to a complete stop though when I asked and actually stood. The BO had been cutting hay in the field and we'd come up on a parked rake that I could tell he didn't like but he'd stopped not too far from it and stood anyways. I pat his neck and try to make myself relax - I wasn't scared just my whole damn body was tense - especially my lower back. I think I was avoiding sitting deep... was I STILL worried about him being lame and me hurting him? Yup. Am I already this weak from not riding for a week?

We go past the BO's house, he's snorty at a trailer we've passed 100 times but not THAT side but he walks on happy to be going back to the barn.

I'm counting his foot falls down the soft road- is he off? I didn't want him to gallop that was probably too much. Yes, he's off... wait, no. Rhythmic. He's just tense. I was tense. I shouldn't have expected anything less.

I groomed him until the BO came to turn in. He was very lovey. I think he's trying to figure out why I keep babying him and why we aren't doing more.

Oh... I'm not sure his saddle had caused 'pressure points' as I had thought first ride. In the not great light of the barn, I think last time I was just seeing the pattern of wave in his lengthening coat. In fact, he didn't sweat much at all even galloping a bit last night so I doubt he was sweating much Saturday either. We only trotted a very little bit and did a easy 30 minute trail ride Saturday. I think the saddle is a definite keeper.

I need to settle the flip down. I am telling myself over and over why he's fine and how I know he's fine. I'm mad I rode like an idiot. I hate that I grabbed his mouth - I'd worked so hard to STOP doing that when he spooks. He goes no where if I stay out of his mouth. He doesn't spook much if I'm not tense. Two steps forward three back I guess... gotta get back out there to find my mojo, that's all. And reeeelax.

Sorta back in the saddle

2009-10-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

EEEeeek. These aren't very flattering... I should have hoisted myself in two point prior to her snapping them to bring my leg back and then sat but didn't think of it. Was just trying to get my way too big t-shirt out of the way... which looks weird. Plus they were in a hurry to get home so I felt bad holding them up. Whatever. I'm sitting a LOT on my bum here ... but do you think this saddle looks like a reasonable fit for me? I feel good in it and get about 3 solid fingers from the cantel to muh bum though in this pic you may not believe it...

His hock is still swollen - I can't see lameness though. I might but I think I'm imagining what I do see. Went on a trail ride with 3 other horses yesterday (after the free lounging sound and the vet telling me to work him and nix the bute) - he was perfect. Well, except for eating everything he could reach. We were the tail, so I couldn't boot him forward without running him up the butt of the gelding in front of us so I kept tipping his nose to me and stealing his 'finds'. It was a 30 minute or so walk. After this pic today I pulled off the saddle, lounged him and rode him at walk bareback to see if I could feel anything 'off'. Not really. I would just feel SO much better if the swelling would just leave. Go. Be gone swelling on one of the most important joints of my horse... BE GONE. I don't have the heart to work him hard if there's inflammation in there and he is on turnout. So, sent him fluid dissipating wishes...

Golden Years

2009-10-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

My trainer texted me this morning. She's visiting her parents. It was as a vacation but I think it's turned in to more than that. Her dad is in pretty rough shape. He has been and she knew that but she didn't realize it was so bad. He doesn't recognize her and I think he's becoming violent with her mom.

She said she may have to stay for awhile to get things settled and help her mom.

My heart aches for her.

I remember how gut wrenching it was to decide to put Grandma in a home. I remember though how hard it was at the end to properly care for her in her house and how very hard it was on my mother.

As the seasons change and with this news I can't help but think of the seasons of life. My Paw-paw always said his retirement was is second childhood. He'd always laugh when he'd say it and give me a wink, as Grandma would roll her eyes.

It was hard to get through his illnesses - kidney dialysis is not fun. I'm pretty sure he'd have just told them to stop and let him die if it weren't for us.

My grandmother slowly just lost her mobility to arthritis and her mind to dementia. I didn't always understand she wasn't herself when I was a teen. I remember once when she screamed at my mother at dinner. She started with how horrible my moms cooking was, nothing was right, and she growled that all her problems started when my mom was born. I had never been so angry at my grandmother than at that moment. How could she be so ungrateful? How could she not see how much my mom was sacrificing to care for her? The look on my mom's face ... I exploded. My mom stared at her food, fighting back tears in my grandmothers kitchen. I don't remember what my father did. I told my grandmother she'd never see me again if she spoke to my mother like that again. I didn't understand it wasn't her talking at that moment it was pretty early still in her dementia and I wasn't wholly accustomed to the bitter anger she had begun to display. I guess I did know she wasn't herself but it was too much to just take in that moment.

It was the only time I ever wasn't patient with her though. Non-stop repetitive questions - is soandso still alive? I was used to that. I'd answer. She'd cry. Then she'd start asking again and we'd do it all over. I didn't mind helping her with anything - even the more unpleasant stuff like going to the bathroom or baths. I almost remember fondly arguing with her over the fact she HAD had a bowel movement that week - she'd forgotten and would worry herself over it. Even with moments that would could smile about it or those that she'd remember again, it still took it's toll on us all.

Once she was in the home she was never mean. She just wanted to go home - but she wanted to go to her parents home we realized. It was good for mom not to have to do everything, though she still spent much of her time there. It was all very hard. No matter what we did and even still I miss her so much. Even the crazy version of her.

I wouldn't wish it on my enemies to have to care for a family member in that mental and physical state, yet it taught me so much.

I hate to hear my instructor may be MIA here for awhile but I know others I can do lessons with. However, to be honest that is the last thing I even thought of when she sent the text. I hate for her that her dad in such a shape. I think it's very much taken a toll on her mother, she just didn't know how much. She's a wonderful person who I know will do her best by her parents but my heart truly goes out to her. Those years may be golden but often there isn't much glitter to it... but that's life, I guess.

Sleepy eyes

2009-09-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

I rolled into the barn driveway slowly. Everyone was turned in, it was well past sunset and very dark. No one around.

I hopped out of my car and walked to the barn entrance.

'Sorry, guys...' I said as I flicked the aisle light on. Squinty eyed heads popped out over their stall doors and looked at me. Some expectant, others obviously were disturbed from their rest. I approached Gators door. He was the squintiest and groggiest looking of them all! It was rather cute. He sleepily nuzzled me. I put on his halter and led him out to inspect his hock where he was kicked. The swelling was down from earlier in the day, still not too much heat and the one inch long cut was looking okay.

He was sleepy enough he didn't even try fighting or graze all that much for hosing. To be honest if someone woke me up and turned a hose on me I'd be pretty pissed. He's a good boy.

Needless to say, I didn't get to try out the saddle yet. He did get shod but now I'm nursing a swollen hock. Hoping it's just some bruising and the swelling will continue to subside. He's only slightly off on it if that so that's good and there's not too terrible much heat in it so the Bute is controlling the inflammation pretty well.

I'm pretty over nursing kick wounds to be quite frank. My stoic horse takes it all pretty well but I don't find it to be fair to him to continue to sort things out in a herd. Especially that keeps swelling with more horses. We shall see... and hopefully post another day sooner than later about our first ride in the new saddle. Though I'm very picky about him being 100% before I hop back on so it might be a bit. Send him healing thoughts and wish us luck...

The new saddle

2009-09-25T07:04:00.001-07:00

That arrived to my house yesterday. 17.5" seat, Extra Wide Tree, Arabian Saddle Company Rubicon Demo and also prototype. It's in great shape. I was hesitant about the color but he looked stunning with it on. It also seemed, from the ground and without having sweat marks to be sure, to fit well. It's about half as light as my current saddle, which is AWESOME because I lug it back and forth to my house and the barn. Yeah, there's a tack 'room' at the barn - an old locked barn/shed. However, I'm rather, um, OCD about leather care and the humidity and temperature fluctuations in Southeastern Virginia is not to be trusted with leather. I'll look silly for a bit until I replace all my fittings with black but I don't care if it fits him and I in all other ways. I'm excited. He has a slightly loose shoe and his feet are due so I didn't ride him last night. My boys conformation isn't great in his front feet and when he's long I worry about injury and for trying this saddle out, I want him to be 100% comfortable. I don't want to blame his way of going on anything but the saddle - good or bad.

I'll take more pics this weekend - maybe with me ON him. That would be new. I don't think I have a single picture of me riding him. That needs to change. Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh... and I have a 17.5" Wide Arabian Saddle Company Elan in Havana Brown Buffalo Leather for sale if you're interested ;)

Realization

2009-09-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

I had a great lesson yesterday. A good ride Saturday too. I need to take some durn pictures/video.

Anyways, that realization... so I got to thinking about Gator and our trail rides. I talked to his previous owner about it. I thought back to everything I'd ever been told about him. I remembered our first rides. I flipped through my memory. I realized no one ever told me he'd been trail ridden very MUCH, only that he really liked it. I remembered no one saying they had done more than a walk on the trail.

I realized I may have been expecting a lot from a horse who to be honest, was relatively green on the trails. Especially doing anything more than plodding along. I took his 'experience' for granted as being a 'been there done that' horse - but really that was only in the show ring. That's a WHOLE different world.

That's scary and encouraging all at the same time. He's been quite good when I think of things that way - especially since I was a very timid rider when I started out on him alone on the trails. He's done his best to take care of me when we were both unsure. I need to break things down for him so they're clear out there. I need to help him make the connection between what he knows in the ring and how to apply it on the trail. Apparently, alone we've done pretty well - without me even knowing we were doing something that was newish to him. Though I see some things that need work. In a group I'm shocked he was so good now. I bet that was THE first time he'd ever cantered on the trail with a rider and other horses. I feel pretty confident I can actually break it down and show him what I want with the right buddies. He just has to learn that the cues are the same and yeah, it's exciting but he needs to be just as responsive on the trail as in the ring, buddies or not. I know he can be, else things would have gone South long ago. And that's pretty cool.

Anyhow, after my lesson Sunday my instructor had a few things to say about us since our last lesson:

1) My lower leg was VERY solid.
2) My upper body position had improved drastically, she was very impressed with my progress there. I do still occasionally collapse my shoulders at the canter but it's getting better.
3) Similarly, when cantering I need to think LIGHT SEAT and keep my shoulders , but much improved.
4) The new saddle may fix several position issues - she can tell I'm always fighting to keep my legs back underneath me.

Now she also hopped on Gator after I did. Her main points/exclamations...

1) He does have my number with a few things. (Yeah, I knew that.)
2) 'Good Lord he's squirrely!' - he may have my number but if you don't catch him FAST he's already done what he shouldn't. (No news to me ... I'd never been on a horse SO 'quick' before him.)
3) She understood my position issues - he really throws you forward. (No kiddin'?) If he hollows out it's really pretty tough to keep your seat.
4) He really is incredibly sensitive.

She very much admitted he isn't as push button as he looks... but he's definitely a fun ride. It was really fun to see him ridden... boy he's cute.

Oh, the new wider saddle should be here Thursday. The Thinline pad must at least be making him FEEL better with the saddle on though it doesn't fix the pressure points. He was rounding up very nicely but then also over flexing like mad, even in the warm up on a loose rein. On occasion it was bit avoidance but mostly you could tell that is how he thinks he's expected/supposed to go and felt as though he could. My poor boy... he was surely Anky-fied in his previous days.

Also, my instructor suggested that perhaps draw reins would help with the stopping issue on the trail. I'm mulling it over. It would keep him from avoiding the bit. I don't like them though, but for a couple rides it wouldn't hurt. Except I'm not entirely comfortable using them - only have a time or two. On the trail it makes me a little nervous to use them... She also pointed out as extensively as they have been used on him he may simply try nothing as he KNOWS the limits with draw reins on. I dunno... maybe he just needs me to break things down a bit more step by step as I was saying before. I'm not really in a hurry, not that I think it will take long if I'm consistent. Thoughts?

One hot little Arab

2009-09-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

Funny creatures are horses. Routines are very important. The norm is their preference. Herd animals prefering other horses to being alone.

However, what if riding with other horses, even in a familiar place, is not the norm? That was our ride yesterday. Additionally, it was in the evening when he's notoriously silly - I attribute it to deer and dinner time when we're alone. It was also cooler, slightly windy.

I finally caught up with a girl at the barn ~9 years my junior and senior in high school (I feel old after talking/riding with these girls... subject matter changes so much with age...) who I like and her Appy mare is a doll - we'll call the girl 'P'. Well, when I get there another girl who is ~10 years my junior, and junior in high school is there who owns a palomino Anglo-Arab gelding ,we'll call her 'A', who decides to join us.

Now, Gator and I always ride solo. We have not had a trail buddy for more than a lap around the hay field near the barn... ever. To be honest, despite enjoying it he hadn't been trailed that much before me and only a couple times with another horse.

'P' and her Appy, I noticed when we got to our barn, are quite sane and laid back. 'P' is pretty mature for her age. She sat with me the day waiting for the vet the day of the trailer incident. Her mare is pretty easy going, witha smidge of Appytude. They usually trail alone. She's an ex trail string horse and lower in the mare herd pecking order. I knew she and Gator would be a good pairing.

Now, 'A' is a sweetie but mature is not a word I would use to describe her. I just get a feeling from her gelding that he tolerates her - and well - but ... she really seems like a kid. He is an ex-schoolie and a pretty good boy. He's a bit higher in the gelding herd than Gator, but they got along decently well from the get-go.

Anyways, we warm up in the ring together - to let Gator and Appy mare 'meet'. They were pretty complacent besides some slightly pinned ears.

'P' was having trouble keeping her mare listening - as in she wasn't interested in trotting and wanted to canter instead. 'P' impressed me with her patience and how she handled it. Always brought her back to a walk, calmly and asked for the upward transition, back down if she didn't listen.

'A' blew around at a canter between conversations with us at a walk. Gator prefered to give everyone plenty of room, occasionally ducking in behind Appy mare.

This was all a great foreshadowing of the ride to come.

We hit the trail at a walk. Gator twice, cut off the gelding to get in the back of our little herd. Interesting. He's not a lead trail horse by choice. Good to know.

We all (though 'P' and I reluctantly agreed) to canter at one point. Gator overtook the gelding, when he, I suppose, decided that was a bad idea and veered off into the hay field. Got him slowed, back on track asked to canter. Dead ass hand gallop to catch up (which I sat deep to avoid... half halts ignored). Starting a fight which continued for, oh, most of the rest of the ride.

Twice 'A' cantered off after that without telling 'P' and I. Super. Thanks sweetie.

Appy mare was being rather strong too, though was much more quick to stop, though tossing her head and fighting a bit. This is while I'm fighting Gator to whoa, cursing at him a lot by then and sparking much frustration. Appy mare and 'P' parked until Appy mare was 100% settled. Standing was not Gator's game either once we managed to pull it together to get back to them, so we fought a bit over that too.

Who owns the dancey prancey Arab? That'd be me. All the while 'A' is chattering cluelessly.

A went back to the ring to jump after proclaming we'd been riding a whole hour. She'd never been on a horse for that long in one ride before! No kidding?

'P' and I went back down the dirt road at a walk again as both were still being a bit silly. Appy mare and Gator went along pretty well - a little jiggy on the way back to the barn when we first turned around but better. It was dinner time afterall. Of all things, they know that. It wasn't forgiven and Gator did listen much better with just Appy mare. He was also less reluctant to be in front of her.

The BO asked if we had a good ride. Immediately, 'P' and my eyes met down the barn aisle. I smiled and half heartedly said it was alright. 'A' chimed in and said she'd had SO much fun!

Of course she did. She also can't wait to go back out with us again sometime... *sigh*

My first reaction to the ride? God do I hate being in his mouth and I was yesterday. Hate, hate, hate it. But he has to stop when I tell him so, right? Ask, Tell, MAKE them listen. Though, whoa means whoa no matter the gait, no matter the monster. It can be life or death on the trail if he doesn't listen to me. Of course it wasn't last night but things happen. He HAS to listen to a whoa no matter the company. Though one in our group was obviously problematic - but that happens. Even if she shouldn't have cantered off without warning. Twice.

I think of him first. Always. I don't think anyone could deny that. This isn't a matter of me 'listening' to figure out what is bothering my poor sweet baby boy. This is him running through me, because he decides to. This is a respect issue. This is an attention issue.

We are going to work on those. A lot. In the ring. On the trail. Alone and with P. Tehre are many up and down transitions in our future.

Rating and breaks have been an issue that I think I've allowed him to exploit on the trail as I was pretty timid and scared when I started riding him. This is the reason his old owner would say he's not a kids horse. He can get strong, even in the ring, though not quite like this. Some days when I just want him worked I am a bit complacent when he wants to go, instead of making him listen and rate, I let him go even if I'd be happier at a less excuberant trot. I'm not anymore. I need to always be clear and mean it. Boundaries.

Now... what to do when 'A' asks to go for a ride again...

(I also figured out last night he's getting about twice the amount of grain what I want him to... Might have something to do with his a-go-go attitude of late. Told the BO this a.m. to half that grain. NOW. No wonder his weight loss had tapered off... dude, he can live on air!)

I never knew...

2009-09-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

I was driving to the barn the other night. A radio show was on and interviewing a man. He was discussing child trafficking - in the United States.

What? That doesn't happen here, I thought to myself. I've never been more wrong and more angry. He rattled off some statistics (which I only vaguely remember correctly so) regarding the fact that usually within something like 24hours of a little girl going missing by abduction she's is shunted into the underground sex trade. Runaways are likely propositioned and lured into the grasp of someone within 48hours. People actually position themselves outside of high schools to recruit young girls - with offers of lucrative careers.

I was appalled. He mentioned a website http://www.sctnow.org/. They fight against this heinous underworld everyday.

Here is some info and stats I got from their website:

Child Trafficking: the recruitment, smuggling, transporting, harboring, buying or selling of a child through force, threats, fraud, deception, or coercion for the purposes of exploitation, prostitution, pornography, migrant work, sweat shops, domestic servitude, forced labor, bondage, peonage or involuntary servitude.

'600,000 – 800,000 people are bought and sold across international borders each year; 50% are children, most are female. The majority of these victims are forced into the commercial sex trade. '– U.S. Department of State, 2004, Trafficking in Persons Report, Washington, D.C.

'An estimated 14,500 to 17,500 foreign nationals are trafficked into the United States each year. The number of U.S. citizens trafficked within the country is even higher, with an estimated 200,000 American children at risk for trafficking into the sex industry. – U.S Department of Justice Report to Congress from Attorney General John Ashcroft on U.S. Government Efforts to Combat Trafficking in Persons

'There are open sex slavery cases in all 50 States. An estimated 10,000 sex slaves exist in New York City.' – Red Light Children Campaign

'An estimated 2.5 million children, the majority of them girls, are sexually exploited in the multibillion dollar commercial sex industry.' – UNICEF

Think about those stats for a minute. Then go hug your daughters. Then go check out the website and spread the word.

I had NEVER heard of this - except maybe as something that happened overseas in other countries which made it seem so far away. I was dead wrong. I'm guessing most of you hadn't known about this either. Visit the website and tell someone else about it. Heck make a viral e-mail.

To protect our own children and other innocents who don't have anyone to protect them, we all need to know about and combat this issue. What's more is we have to encourage our legislators to crack down on people who are paying to 'use' these 'services'. It's someones baby they're 'using' and that breaks my heart.

A lot of 'horse people' these days are worrying a great deal about where our forgotten 'unwanted' horses or other pets end up. I know I do anyways. This very human issue smacked me across the face though. As long as we can do this to ourselves, especially our innocent children, what chance do our animals have at being treated with dignity?

The Greatest Guy

2009-09-08T05:03:00.000-07:00

Smiling through the pain...

That's me and my wonderful husband on our honeymoon in Aruba. He hasn't been on a horse since and that's my fault. He puts up with my constant blather about Gator and horses and still agreed when the opportunity arose that I could make Gator my own. Even after this ride. Not being a 'horse person' he's been amazingly tolerant of my expensive and time consuming habit. He's the best... now here's the story of our ride in Aruba.

I chose The Beach Ride from the book and told the clerk at our hotel. I didn't think much about it or even look at how long it was. I wanted to ride on the beach. Period. The end.

The day we'd chosen to ride came and we waited out front of our hotel. I had been certain we both packed jeans and 'real' shoes of some sort, which we were sporting. A little 'bus' showed up and we crawled in. We were the second hotel they stopped at to pick up the riders. As the bus filled and we drove around the island we talked about the scenery and such. I was stoked - I was going to ride on the beach. I had dreamed of cantering through the surf... okay a bit too 'romantical' but whatever.

We arrived at the 'ranch' and I looked around. I craned my neck to see where the horses lived and figure out what the hell they fed them - there wasn't a blade of grass hardly on the whole island. We all sat in the bar area and listened to a lecture on the 'basics of riding'. Oh my. They told you how to mount and to keep your heels down. That was pretty much it. Oh boy. Then they told us the groups - The Beach ride group (us) and The Waterfall or something group...

Everyone else. Uh oh. I quickly glanced at the brochure... I had chosen a THREE HOUR trail ride. The other was three hours, but not of riding ONLY - the ride was only 45 minutes to an hour for the other. My poor new husband was going to anull the marriage after a 3+ hour ride. I offered to switch rides but being a tough guy he said he could do it.

Then they asked who had ridden before. I had been warned to not admit I had... but they knew. The fact I kept looking at the horses I think, was giving my husband pointers etc. probably gave it away.

They led us to our horses. Most were pretty skinny, their feet a bit long the tack less than appealing but overall they were in decent health it appeared.

They put Mike on 'Champagne' first- I tried to help him but was being shuttled to my horse - 'Tazmania' who was prancing in place, head high, biting his neighbor. I noticed he had the fleshiest butt of the whole lot of horses. Awesome. I hop on and glance at the scary bit. A homemade kimberwick of sorts. Super.

They take the horse next to me away. Taz nearly pulled the post over. Literally, the whole fence shook. A guide ran over to try and settle him. Apparently Taz's very best friend was going to be in the other group. I gulped and tried to settle this horse rather unsuccessfully.

We met our guide, as another led a jigging Taz over to Champagne who didn't move when she was untied. As soon as the guide let go of Taz we headed down the paved road at some version of a fast gaited trot - I know nothing of gaited horses mind you. All I know is comfortable, it wasn't. The asphalt couldn't have been helpful either. Her buddy was in the other group, leaving ahead of us. I sit deep. Nothing. I pull back, not even very hard and the guide yells at me, almost panicked not to do that as Taz went into a head shaking fit. Um... so... I just go along with this then? No. He's a head shaking, pulling monster and I'm not allowed to touch his face? I hadn't even pulled back hard!

We were with the other group for the first 15 minutes of the ride. My horse trying to maneuver her way to her friend in the crowd - the guide trotting up and grabbing her bridle/halter to stop her and keep us in the back of the group. Mike's horse straggling along behind. I'm trying to explain to him how to ride probably annoying him to death... all the while my horse jigs while though guy now is practically just ponying us.

The time came to branch off which I was dreading - this horse was going to lose it. The guide had let go again. Of course Taz tried to head off with the other group. I blocked with my leg and opposite rein. He threw and shook his head and pulled like a fool BUT sort of listened with much head shaking, jigging in protest.

Champagne was lagging and to help Mike I decide to ride behind him. I could tell him what to do that way and it was helpful to have a horse behind his for motivation. Except Taz was not okay with being last. In fact second wasn't really Taz's choice either though he'd tolerate it. I was fighting him the entire time to stay behind when I finally just let him pass Mike as we passed housing with dogs running out barking at us. I think my horse would have gladly stomped a dog but he picked up the pace instead with little intention of listening to me. Great.

So now the guide is far far ahead down the road - I mean far. I'm still not sure what he was doing; he had to realize we were very far behind him. He might have been on his cell phone. I was struggling to slow Taz down to stay with Mike and his horse just had no motivation to move forward at our pace. As we were heading down a hill, still on the road mind you, I hear Mike yelling 'Whoa!'. My heart sinks as I look back.

Champagne has seen something in the bushes next two a house that she was not a fan of. She was bunny hopping in the front and refusing to move forward, only up. My horse REFUSES to turn around. I watch helplessly, fighting with Taz to turn and head back as Champagne rears. Yes. My non-riding husbands horse just reared on as asphalt road and of course he's bareheaded. I SCREAM for the guide.

He turns, looks and comes at a dead run back to us. Taz decides then it's okay to turn around and head back. The guide and I arrive at the same time and he grabs Champagnes bridle/halter and she calmed down. I explain to the guide, who did not speak English well, that someone had to stay behind Champagne. My horse would not without a fight so if he told me where to turn when we needed to turn, I was fine (and Taz was happier) leading. This actually worked very well while it lasted.

We were on a dirt road by then and Taz had finally stopped jigging. We started actually enjoying ourselves a little and Mike had a light bulb moment about what I meant by 'heels down'. Then we see the rocky mountain ahead. I had a gut twinge when I realized we'd be climbing it, helmet-less. I am a safety geek. About that time the guide also went back to the front of our little herd. I tried to keep Taz behind Champagne but it was futile - especially once the terrain got rough. Taz nearly pushed Champagne off a boulder to get in front of her. Beyond that they picked their way along up and down the path of the rocky mountainside - it was pretty cool when my horse wasn't shoving Mikes around.

Then we took a break after about an hour and a half. I think Mike was ready to kill me but he was a good sport. We took pictures of the rocky cliffs and the ocean. Mike of course was full of questions and asked why I was sort of out of the saddle going up the hills and I explained two point and how to sit a bit deeper heading down hills and why. I had tried to tell him when we were doing it but Taz didn't make it very easy.

It was time to remount and the guide held my horse first. I hopped on had both feet in the stirrups and he moved on to Mike and Champagne. Taz was ready to leave. I halted him MUCH to his dismay. Then, he decided since I wasn't allowing forward he'd try and flip me over his head and boy did he try. He yanked once and then set his feet, rocked back and YANKED HARD. Thing was, he didn't expect when I had realized what he was going to do and set myself against him and just didn't give an inch. I felt bad - I knew he had a pretty awful bit in but I let him do it to himself. Funny, but he didn't give me even a head shake again after that really. I did check his mouth after the ride and he wasn't hurt. I wanted to check at the time, but didn't feel like it was safe with all the boulders and the jigging horse to dismount. I was glad though I finally had his attention.

We all headed back down the mountain and to the beach. My heart sank. The whole reason I chose the ride was so I could canter on the beach. Mike was not going to be able to canter and I knew if I did there was a good chance his horse might take off the canter too and I wasn't sure he could handle it. Even falling off in the sand wasn't something I wanted - I felt bad enough. He kept urging me but instead we just waded them in the water a bit and headed on on the hills over looking the cliffs and ocean. It wasn't a very long beach anyways...

Mike started trying two point going up the hills. Champange liked that. She liked it a lot. In fact, she liked it so much that she refused to walk forward UNLESS Mike was in two point. Perfect. Seriously, he rode the rest of the ride in two point to keep some forward on his pitiful horse. The guide at least, so I think, took us on a shortcut back to the ranch thanks to Mike and Champagne. Surely though, my new husband was going to divorce me.

Once he was very far behind we were coming down a semi-steep incline on a dirt road and the guide whistled. This was a signal for the string horses to catch up. Catch up Champange did - she broke into a canter downhill with my horse novice husband in two point. I about fell off Taz as they blew by us - Taz was yielding to even just a half halt by then and being a very good boy as far as listening though I let him go as Champagne blasted past.

We rode past a donkey conservation of sorts - there were so many cute little donkeys running wild. Though, I think I was too worried about Mike and he was simply in too much pain to enjoy the last leg of the ride. Boy did he look miserable...

Despite covering much more terrain, but thanks to the shortcut we arrived back at the ranch 20 or so minutes before the other group. Mike was already sore. He declared he'd never ride again seriously, but at least with a laugh. I felt awful and got him a drink.

The other group had been swimming and lounging for an hour and half before they got back on their horses so... they came back in a more jovial mood than my poor husband and I. That made me feel worse. He was sore for pretty much the rest of the honeymoon. I also found out later that um, it's best for guys to not wear boxers when riding but tight-whities, he'd have appreciated that but I didn't know. Oops.

Luckily it all became a joke - in fact he brags about staying on which he did despite ol' Champagne cantering down a hill and rearing.

After some time he's retracted his claim he'll never ride again. Occasionally claiming, jokingly, he's going to go hop on Gator and ride off into the sunset. He didn't divorce me and he didn't make me swear horses off. A 'good sport' when it comes to horses is an understatement as it pertains to my husband. We'll never forget that ride, that's for sure. He also very much earned the title of The Greatest Guy. Ever.

Luckily for me, he really enjoyed snorkeling the next day of the honeymoon... that might actually be what saved the marriage...

Renegade Off-road

2009-08-31T06:19:00.001-07:00

Successes this weekend -

~ Lateral movements and opening the gate without him RUSHING and pushing through it!
~ Flying lead change :) Only got one really clean one but that's a start.
~ The realization of how desperately I needed a shorter girth. Saddle slippage improved drastically (duh.).

Saturday's Adventure ~
Anyone reading this knows I've had some issues with my horse being nervous on the trails, mostly due to my nerves and especially in the woods. We've come a long way in more ways than one. Saturday confirmed that in leaps and bounds.

That morning I had picked 15/16 stalls (two of which are 12x24) and two massive run in sheds, water buckets (~32) and all that comes with cleaning up the barn for 15-20 horses. I was a wee bit tired, my lower back was tight and it was 90 degrees with high humidity. After doing Gator's stall and cleaning his waterer, I was soaked with sweat again. I decided we weren't going to work hard. However, I had (FINALLY) received his smaller girth and wanted to see how much difference it would make. I decided on a trail ride - walking only. We hadn't done that in a long while, I didn't have more than that in me and I was sure he'd enjoy it. I tacked him up and let him pick his path.

He chose a direction out of our normal - down the driveway and along the road. Despite the cars whizzing by the only thing he even ogled was a pine tree that was apparently untrustworthy. The BO's daughter is building a house on that side of the property and there is a driveway in to the site. Gator decided he wanted to go down there and then back to check out where they had dug utilities in through the upper hay field. We'd never been all the way up there. As we headed back toward the horse fields, the mares went crazy over something. I think, for good measure, he decided to spook - he did a 360, pretty much in place but didn't go anywhere. I told him the mares were just crazy and he should stop it. He did. Good thing for the new girth though! On we went past the BO's house and onto the logging path.

So, pretty uneventful so far right? Yup. I'm pretty pleased and singing out loud like an idiot - relaxed and happy as we ease along down the path on a loose rein. The deer flies weren't even too bad.

We come to a very large tree mostly blocking the path fallen in one of the last few big storms, I hadn't thought of downed trees. It was high enough we could only just duck under on one side. I hoped it wasn't loose but pushed him forward. He ducked, I duck off to one side; we don't even touch it. I was proud of our successful obstacle navigation. If I only knew.

Shortly thereafter, Gator stops to listen. I had assumed to the deer I heard running far up ahead. Gator wasn't phased, just listening, so I thought.

In retrospect I believe he was actually predominantly using another sense. His sniffer.

He started again, but with a purpose. You know when a horse OBVIOUSLY has something cooked up between those perky ears? Yeah. That sort of purposeful walk. A few strides in he swings his head in the direction I had heard the deer running, ears perked but relaxed. He was looking up into the woods over a 5 foot vertical embankment to our right. I didn't think much of it at all. He was just looking right?

Not so much. Suddenly, we were cresting it! As he heaves one last stride we top it we're in the thick of the woods and he's just walking on, ears still perked still relaxed as ever. I didn't even have time to react.

I was in shock. What the...? These are pretty thick, no actually, REALLY thick woods. We've had some good storms lately - trees are fallen all around us. So we have lots of thick trees, mixed with many fallen crisscrossed trees, plus saplings and holly bushes interspersed.

My brain kicks in and I curse him for his 'idea' in complete disbelief we're in the midst of these very dense woods with only more in sight. I knew I had better keep my wits about me and stay calm since I knew we were both complete novices when it came to navigating thick brush.

He scraped between a narrow opening between two trees and my left toe catches and I lose my stirrup as I'm still shaking off the shock. Uh oh. As I scrambled to pick it up he continued picking his way through and - he worked us farther in and off path. Shortly after I pick up the stirrup, he stops, then flat foot jumps a log. Awesome. I curse him again but can't help but sort of chuckle, and just concentrate on directing him as best I can. At some point he ducks down under a large fallen tree where I thought he'd just stop, and I have no choice but to hang off the side of him. Thank GOD for the new girth. He crushed through small fallen trees and pushes past saplings. He hung up a couple times on bent green saplings but carefully worked himself loose and on we'd go. Then we found ourselves in essentially a chute - trees on all sides, with two fallen crisscrossed in front. I back him out of that and turn another way to another dead end. We back up again and try door three. We're finally navigating back toward the path. He continued to crush small trees with his legs and chest, skirting around larger trees - but responding to me very intently. Slow down a smidgen, stop, back, turn, side step this way turn your head a little, to the left, now turn sharp right... We both remained oddly calm. Several times I directed us into tough spots but we had to work together to get out he tried everything I asked of him. He was impressively surefooted through all of this too, despite a couple understandable stumbles. He has been known to trip at a walk in a freshly groomed arena, after all.

We finally (it probably only took 5-10 minutes but seemed like an eternity) make it back to the path at a point where we were up on a roughly 2 foot embankment. He hesitated but scooted down it and tried turning back the opposite direction we'd come up the path. Um, no, butt-head. You aren't choosing where we go anymore today!

I couldn't help but burst into laughter once we were safely back on the path. I could NOT believe him! Seriously? Had that just happened? Finally after another minute or two of continuing on, ahead I saw the 'issue' of which I believe was his concern.

Mud. The normal 'mud stretch' at the lowest point on the trail was HUGE compared to normal due to tons of recent rain . He must have devised a plan to tromp through the woods to avoid the mud that wasn't even within sight yet; he had only smelled it. Is that even possible? Do horses have that much forethought? I think it has to be what he was doing, though I guess it's a possibility he also has a sick sense of humor.

He went through the mud with no hesitation, just a forlorn look down. This caused me to burst into laughter at the irony.

Shortly thereafter, we come to a fallen sapling ~2 inches in diameter stretching bank to bank across the path ~2-3 foot high . I figure, he'll step over it. Nah, he crushes through it. I about fall off of him laughing again and decide I'll never jump him. Ever after that display of through the obstacle instead of over.

We head up the hill and out of the woods, I'm STILL laughing my ASS off at him. In the open fields, I lean over one, then the other shoulder to see if he's scraped or cut. Nope. He didn't act or travel remotely injured either. I keep laughing all the way home. He wasn't even dinged. Actually, neither was I except for the tiniest scratch on my tummy from a limb.

I started compiling all the ways it could have gone poorly as we walked calmly along the big hay field. What if a green sapling didn't break or he got more tangled than he could handle getting lose from. What if he freaked when tangled. Or he stepped in a hole. Or he stepped in/on a bees nest. OR we spooked up a deer. OR he freaked at the very narrow enclosed areas. Or he scraped me off. Why hadn't I thought to dismount? I had to stop.

I was still smiling for some reason.

We had worked together to get out of that mess. Really well. We were perfectly calm. I had trusted where he put his feet, he trusted where I pointed him. We were walking back to the barn in one piece. I chalked it up to a good experience actually and reminded myself to pay a bit more attention in the future when I can tell he has an idea.

Living up to his name RS Renegade? I think so.

Pictures for the Saddle Fitter

2009-08-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

Is my saddle tree too narrow? I'm hoping Kitt from Trumbull Mountain Saddlery can help me out via the intertubes!

Interesting Articles

2009-08-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

Body Cues

Heart Rate (you may or may not be able to access this entire article)

It never ceases to amaze me that people don't realize these things. It somewhat perplexes me that we need to do research to confirm them. Then again I guess some people need concrete proof. I personally do appreciate the heart rate study though. I have worked hard on my nerves in the saddle. As in pretending they're not bothering me but typically if I was very worried, no matter if I concentrated on my body staying relaxed, though it helped, my boy was still on edge. Guess he was paying attention to my heart beat. They know that doesn't lie and horses, if nothing else, are honest. That is at least in my experience. I still don't know how I've slowed my heart rate, but that tigthening in my chest is long gone these days. I am able to laugh when he side jumps at a bird; he jumps, splays, I laugh and tell him he's silly, he walks on. It didn't used to go that way. Anyways, I found those two very interesting and thought someone else might too.

As GoLightly and FernValley suggested, I stretched my boy today as I mentioned in my previous post after tightening his girth. I think he appreciated it very much. He actually seemed to walk and trot more freely, sooner... maybe his long warm ups were partly working the girth so it wasn't pinching the skin behind his elbows. Pulled out the D level Pony Club Manual I bought when I started with my second instructor. I guess I didn't read that part carefully. Good stuff in that manual. I guess no one thought about telling me about it in my lessons before either. Same with tenting my saddle pad... Ah well, I'll just keep learning and trying to be better for my boy. Afterall, they say he is watching and listening...

Cuteness per Gator

2009-08-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

Last night I was grooming my boy. No one around. My favorite time with him. He fell asleep while I braided his forelock with his head just at the perfect height for me to reach. He's a good boy that way. Well, I finished up, stepped back and looked at him. For some reason I thought of stretching out his front legs. I never have before but I thought, you know, he might enjoy it.

I reached down and picked up his left front leg behind the knee. He lifted it for me easily, seemed unsure though of what I was doing but as always was willing. I looped my hands around his knee and brought it up and forward to my tummy and just set my weight on my heels for 15 seconds or so to slowly stretch his shoulder. His eyebrow went up and then relaxed as if to say 'Oooh! That's niiice...'

I set it down. Tapped his right knee so he'd shift his weight and he easily lifted. This time he almost shut his eyes blissfully as I leaned back.

After I set down his right foot, he stuck out his left foot and I swear he batted his eye lashes at me. I guess he did enjoy it. Maybe it was a routine he'd gone through before and missed. I know we worked pretty hard this weekend so he very likely was muscle sore. We'll be sure to do it from now on.

We did this twice more per leg. By the end I had his knee almost to my chest just lightly setting my weight against his muscles and he seemed to really like it. He looked disappointed when I didn't go back for the opposite leg again. However, at some point we had to get that saddle on...

We had a great ride, worked on same things as our last lessons after a warm up of trotting the perimeter of our loop. He was more responsive on the trail and in the ring. I still wasn't perfect and I think I need to work on canter departs - don't rush him!

I'm still playing with stirrup length (though now they're at least even!) and working on simple changes.

I'm not sure if I'm not sitting his saddle forward enough which caused it OR he needs a wider tree... I had dry spots just behind and on both sides of his withers on his back Sunday; maybe yesterday? To think his previous saddle (same style and brand) was a size smaller than mine ... I did check for soreness after yesterdays ride. He bent away from sharp pressure as he should and didn't show signs of pain when the spots were massaged deep. I'll be mindful of it though. And he'll have today off.

Though I may go stretch him out, just for fun.

Another ride, another lesson...

2009-08-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday ~

Saturday did not start well. I got up, a bit late but not too late. Hopped on the computer with my coffee to check a favorite blog only to find ALL my files gone. All. None too pleased at the discovery I messed with it longer than anticipated with no real resolution. I got ready to head to the barn, fuming.

Driving there I have often seen this pair of Gray Toulouse geese. They stand in a bad place, always together. It's in a curvy part of the road, with no shoulder near a culvert that runs under the lowest point of the road. I always worry when I see them just standing there. I always hope they both head to a safer place each time I see them. Saturday, there, in the road one lay. That did not contribute to me feeling any better about the morning. I was hoping I didn't get to the barn to find a disaster there as well.

Gator was well. I tacked him up and off we went. I had switched to my new stirrup leathers. LONG long time over due. HUGE difference.

He was very forward. Walking wasn't something he was interested in. This awarded plenty of opportunity to work on maintaining proper position at the trot and making him listen. I had even thought, after two laps (~1 mile each?) of going into the ring. I hopped off to get the gate (his propensity for NOT wanting to stand still needs to be mastered before I can open and close gates off of him) and he was DRENCHED. I was too I realized. It was crazy humid after all so I hand walked him out and hosed him. He, for once, seemed to really enjoy the hosing.

Gator had already made my day 180 degrees better but hubby also called to say he restored my computer. Even better still.

Sunday ~

Up early. To the barn by 7am. I let him graze a few minutes, my instructor had texted she was 15 minutes behind. Then I tacked him up in the outside cross ties - we had never used them before. They're smack in the middle of the 'good' grass. He was pissed but only pawed a occasionally in protest at the injustice.

My position was MUCH better for this lesson. He was listening pretty well even during our warm up - though he still takes a decent warm up. We then did large figure eights - extending trot through the middle, collected on the ends. I was getting some pretty good extension out of him. We then cantered both directions. Occasionally I got the extreme extension which I maintained sitting - I heard my instructor mumble something about dressage again. Had to kick him pretty good at least once, he kicked back and then departed. Monkey. She was more pleased with my position. Apparently I am rolling my shoulders - not collapsing or roaching my back but rolling my shoulders forward, pushing out my elbows, lifting my hands. Okay, I can fix that. Relaaaaxxx.

We worked on the three loop serpentine again. Nice working trot, walking in the middles where we would do a canter transition, then back to trotting. Then, she asked if I felt ready to try it at the canter.

Sure! Why not? She was impressed with our first go had gone as well as it had. She pointed out the issues to improve upon. Our last was actually pretty good. I actually impressed myself with that one. We ended on a really good note. :) I might actually be able to do a flying change after all. That will be spiffy.

I have some stuff to work on and am excited to ride this week. I tend to work best with a goal or at least a 'To Do' list. The weather is supposed to be nice so here's hoping.

I'm also excited to find out that I'll be able to attend some dressage clinics as a spectator in September. I will REALLY enjoy that. I need to read up though... there's a lot to learn. :)

I'm also hoping to win the lottery and I will buy THIS. A girl can dream right? That would be my heaven me thinks...

Back in the Saddle

2009-08-21T06:30:00.001-07:00

So, I haven't blogged in a few weeks. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it? No? You didn't notice? Oh well. :)

So, night before last I tried to ride for the first time in a week (I was out of town/he had shiny new shoes put on) and a thunderstorm rolled in. Gator was being his ho-hum self warming up, as in, trot? forward? What ever do you mean? We didn't get past that because he'd slow to a walk and stop to stare at the super dark cloud producing sharp cracks of thunder and daggers of lightening whenever we were facing that direction. I decided he was smarter than I, and we called it a day. I guess I groomed him; that's a good thing.

Last night though I HAD A LESSON!!!! :D It's been awhile since I've had a lesson. I have needed a lesson or 30. Gator had been telling me I needed a lesson. My instructors two other lessons canceled because of the heat and she was totally free. She's also a good friend and I had called to chat she told me about her cancelations and sounded dissapointed. I casually joked I'm no wuss, I was going to ride in the heat. She wanted to get her kidlet out of the house and we met around 6:30.

Our warm up was ugly. It was obvious I have not been riding him in the ring a lot lately. Especialy not with much direction. He pulled out all the stops when it came to being a butt head. Stay on the rail? Nah. We'll veer to this jump and just stop. Trot? Nah. Oh, you're serious? Well I'll kinda trot, but I'll make you work harder than me. I need more rein, contact? No I'll just pull these RIGHT out of your hands, thanks! Grrr...

My stirrups were uneven and too long. He's lost weight. I've lost weight. I knew that changed angles. I knew they didn't feel right but I just couldn't get them right on my own. I had reverted to a somewhat chair seat partially due to the stirrups. Lovely.

I pulled up next to my instructor as she was telling what to do next after we had fixed my stirrups and we had struggled around the ring warming up. She stopped and looked at me funny.

'What's wrong?'

'Huh?', I answered.

'You look... pissed. Really mad.'

'Oh. No, just frustrated and concentrating. I let my position go to crap and he's being a butthead. Just frustrated and concentrating.' I was also distracted by the other rider who had just entered the ring slightly. I have um... not really shared a ring a lot. She didn't seem to have had either. Her instructor was being loud and obnoxious.

So, I took my instruction to do a three loop serpentine at a posting trot, concentrating on indirect rein and directing with my legs not my hands. God we had been hideous warming up. She didn't even think I could steer anymore. :(

Off we went. Loop de loop around the haphazardly placed jumps as best we could. I was keeping an eye on the kid in the ring. I noticed they started cantering on the rail. I noticed it wasn't so pretty. On one of my middle loops I was heading toward the rail, making my turn and starting back to center. I started to turn to pick up the other rider - they had come around a lot faster than I expected. She was not on the rail. She was headed exactly where I was. She was RIGHT there. Shit. Gator and I slowed and she tried to give me the rail. I was actually realizing that because I was watching her horse (and so was Gator). Her horse jumped to the right, still at the canter, having no leg she fell on his neck and stayed there. He wasn't a fan of that and ran. She came off, rolled nicely but he did run the hell over her. Shit. Gator and I had stopped long since. Girl was okay, thankfully. Loose horse caught. Gator and I walked around as she cantered him again. Both directions.

Her instructor made a bit fuss about making sure we 'came at each other again' to be sure he wasn't a freak about it again. Um... no horses freaked when crossing. Don't act like it's a big deal, they wont' either. One just had no direction, made his own decision and she couldn't sit it. Bah. We waited until she had cantered both directions, Gator didn't mind the break. I clearly explained what I was doing to the instructor so she could explain it to her student so we didn't do that again. Once she was coming up a on a jump and we were *going* to cross in front of it. I noticed and stopped. She screamed at the student to pull the horse up - good anyways as he was strung out as all hell but... over react much?

Anyhoo... back to my lesson finally. So, on to cantering. Something I felt I had made a vast improvement on and was excited to show my instructor. See, I always got forward. I had had trouble cuing him for awhile. He doesn't canter unless you're balanced and cue properly. He's a good teacher like that. We'd been doing GREAT! Shorter stirrups, while more effective felt different I think for Gator and myself. So, I was actually getting BEHIND the vertical when asking. Craptastic! Our first attemps weren't so nice.

However, at one point I had asked and he rolled into what many people refer to as the death trot. I sat it. Whatever. Big Whoop. He wasn't strung out, I was keeping him collected so he could pick up the canter but he was E-X-T-E-N-D-I-N-G. I cued again, and he stepped into the canter. After we cantered a few laps my instructor called me to pull him up and come over.

'What's wrong?'' I asked.

She put her eyeballs back in their sockets and un-swallowed her tongue. 'THAT... THAT was GORGEOUS... I mean the extended trot. Your ass was STUCK to that saddle and he... HE wow! He has an AMAZING extended trot!'

Huh. Okay, so my screw up was awesome. My canter, once I wasn't behind the motion (TOTALLY opposite of what I've always done before!) had been nice. She was impressed at how I really moved with him. I didn't bounce anymore. *whew* I thought I'd sucked too much to tell.

Reverse. Okay... walking, cue, canter, he picks it up, few strides...

'HALT!!!!!!!!'

I look over my shoulder. Kid slumped against the fence. Loose horse. Holy shit balls! AGAIN?

'OH my GOD!? ' says the other instructor to the kid. 'I don't know what went wrong! He jumped big and YOU just didn't stay with him.' She couldn't correct her position at the canter when she got in trouble, why was she jumping again? She was okay. Got back on. I went on.

Better canter, had to half halt the booger though. He was feelings good.

Kid and other instructor finally leave. Many exclamations about horse jumping big and the kid not staying with him follow from the other instructor. The kids nose is swollen. I tell them to have my instructor (Lifeguard, teaches CPR etc) look at it. Girl is freaking a bit about it from a looks perspective. *sigh*

Back to the lesson... time for a dressage pattern. We usually suck at this. I have a hard time keeping him at a trot once we'd cantered. She wanted extended walks and trotting only. We HAD gotten better about this but he'd been such a butt before...

We nailed it! He decided he could actually do a nice working trot after all. My position was making my instructor exclaim things like 'THERE! That's the trot I was talking about! That's what we want! Nice trot!' Thank heavens. I needed to hear that something I had done on purpose wasn't crap.

When I finished, she again brought up our extended trot and the awesomeness that it was. She went on about HOW powerful it looked. How he was REALLY throwing me out of that saddle - so much she said she felt sorry for me... but my ass never left the saddle. She gushed about how my ass was glued there and joked how no other sport do you hear someone say that. I think I blushed a little.

She said there are some lower level dressage shows around. She thought we'd do really well, with some more practice of course. Plus he needed to be more collected less, hunter show ponyish...

I hadn't been really asking for collection. He's simple to get into a lovely collected frame. Hell, I know I can do that.

But a dressage test? Me? Show? She really, excitedly and genuinely thought we could do that and do well?

Crap. I hate white pants.

Too much Happy and a Sad

2009-08-04T06:40:00.000-07:00

Miss Lily seems to have had too much happy on Saturday when we had family over for a cookout. Her tail is sprained from all the wagging. Must have put too much wig in her wag. I can't help but giggle about it. She's steadily improving from super droopy tail back to her normal perky expressive tail. I feel bad for her but it's just so funny that she 'over wagged'.

I am, though, glad she is actually happy to SEE people. The little terrified 4 month old who had obviously been beaten, severely, when we met, has really transformed. That's a pretty good feeling that she was SO happy to see people, the species who so very much abused her early on in her life. They know a lot more about forgiveness than we do, don't they? I hope Miss Lily is always so happy but she doesn't making spraining her wig-wag something regular.

The last two are the night and following day I brought her to my place to see how Autumn would react to her. Nelly (my roommates Aussie) went after Miss Lily very aggressively... Autumn protected her. Sealed the deal for me. At least for awhile, I was sure Autumn regretted doing it but I'm sure now she loves her sister. I'll tell all of Lily's story another time...

Autumn was three legged Sunday morning (as most people reading this probably already know). I presume she and Lily played too hard Saturday night OR in the night she jumped off the bed/ran down the stairs in a less that optimal way, while I slept. Doc doesn't think it's her cruciate (thank the heavens!)and she was using it yesterday afternoon after being crated all day and taking her Rimadyl. She continues to improve. Limiting her for the rest of the week is going to be tough but she's handled it surprisingly well for her level of hyper.

Gator's butt is looking grand. I MEANT to take pics of it. I will tomorrow. I swear. I'm shocked at how much hair is already coming back in. :) I might actually try cantering him with just the bareback pad this week or weekend... yeah... that was my goal for the summer. Sunday I realized, I am ready to do it. I think. I'll let you know.

Finally... today is always a rough day... August 4th. It's been 13 years since I lost my Paw-paw today. Exactly HALF my life has passed without him in it, as of today. That's really hard for me to believe. He is and was my hero. The farm looks so different now from when I was a kid but I'll never forget it. I can't even start to recount everything he taught me there. I can still hear him say 'Hey, Baby!' and see him light up. I was the youngest grandchild... or am. He never meant to favor me but he doted on me and I just adored him. Still do. I know he's still with me - I swear on more than one occasion since his passing, he's been my guardian angel.

The day we lost him, my life was truly never the same. I never told him, that I can remember, that I loved him. I finally accepted that he knew, because I don't remember him telling me he loved me either, but I knew. Without a doubt. He wasn't a man of many words, so they weren't necessary. I loved that about him. I was the last person he spoke to - 'Hey, Baby!' The nurse said he hadn't been able to do more than whisper 'yes' or 'no' but I got to hear him say that one last time... I know what he meant.

I miss you Paw-paw. With all my heart. Every day.

Harold Eldin King - 1916-1996

That is one of my favorite pictures of all time, by the way. Yes. I have a mullet. I had no say in it, I was five. I blame my mother and my disdain for having my hair untangled. That was somehow the 'compromise' haircut. Despite that, I love this picture. I now own that hoe myself and use it in my garden. He said it was 'ours'. It always will be... until I see you again...

You make plans, God laughs at them... so true.

2009-07-26T07:32:00.000-07:00

This is my horses left butt. Nice eh? :/ Actually they're not very flattering... has some hay belly to work off though huh?

I must say though he's trotting sound and cantering sound - of his own accord. I can not believe how minor his injuries were compared to what I saw when I was on that trailer with him. They are healing AMAZINGLY.

When I clambered into that trailer all I was saw blood all over the divider, a horse that would not bear weight on his left hind, leaning on said divider, sweat drenched, teeth gnashing, bucking, kicking in complete panic. I thought he was somehow impaled on the divider or had somehow broken is leg or hip. I sustained 5-7 pretty good bites in an effort to calm him down. I took a deep breath when I ducked under the chest bar merely seconds after he decided it was okay to stop panicking. I had to FORCE him to back off and get off the divider - I was sure when I pushed him that it was going to be tearing flesh, or he'd fall.

I am so glad I was wrong.

Needless to say, we didn't make it to our first trail/endurance training ride. My boy apparently was claustrophobic on the Brenderup trailer that came to pick us up. It was truly tight for him. They are pretty narrow. I felt claustrophobic when I went on first to load him. He didn't make a fuss, but was unsure. Gator doesn't hesitate for much when he's being led. He checked the mare, stepped up and gingerly backed off twice. No drama, just 'Mom, I dunno about this...' sort of look. Then he came up the ramp and got himself a carrot. He stood quietly as we struggled with the butt bar and loaded everything into the tiny tack compartment and her Land Rover. We didn't get more than 5-10 minutes down the road, luckily. Had we been on the James River Bridge... he'd likely have more than skin off his ass. To be honest, I think he may have flipped that trailer.

I am grateful though. I'm grateful she or I were not hurt. I'm grateful her mare did not panic, nor was she even scratched. I'm grateful the trailer was not destroyed. Grateful those scrapes and bruises were in the location they were. Grateful he backed off that trailer sanely. Grateful he loaded back up on a 3 horse slant without even questioning me - had I just been as panicked as he was, I'm not sure I'd have immediately loaded into another trailer. I'm grateful he is pissy because I'm hosing and medicating him and not riding him. He was throwing a fit yesterday when I put him back up and didn't ride. He wanted to go Saturday.... just not in that trailer.

He'd never been in anything smaller than a two horse slant... I didn't know that at the time but as I loaded him I suspected it. I shouldn't have put him on that trailer. I will never second guess myself like that again. I didn't want to turn away his woman who had so kindly offered to take us on a ride with her. She was also confident it would be okay. Thing is though, I know my horse and I should have listened but since he went on I thought well, he'll be fine. No, I couldn't have known THAT would happen and being a Monday Morning Quarterback is prettty easy. What I do know is that he so obviously has, I will try and forgive myself. I will never, ever put him on something I am not 100% confident he's comfortable with.

He's such a good boy. We were lucky and that's that. Just no tank tops for me for a bit... my left shoulder/arm/trap are um... pretty beat up. Some meds, some hosing and some time and we'll both be perfectly okay. I actually think, since the scrapes aren't that deep I'll be able to regrow most if not all that hair on his rump. If not I'll love him just the same of course. If not more.

On a good note my husband wanted to cheer me up (I think - bless his heart, if not he still succeeded) or just wanted to let Miss Autumn have a swim. She loooves to swim. We moved pretty far from her old swimming hole on the York River which I wasn't a huge fan of anyways (too busy, too much current and not the cleanest river). So we tried this State Park in Surry County I happened to rememver seeing a sign for about 20-25 minutes from our house and Wow! We had a great day on Sunday. It was beautiful. Autumn LOVED it. The girls were tuckered and we WILL be frequenting that park a lot for the rest of the time we live here. It was fantastic. It actually may be where, if I have a choice, I trailer Gator for our next trip off the property. It was quiet and had a good amount of trails (~10 miles). So, to an end comes a very roller coaster-esque weekend. We're all okay and I'm happy and grateful for that.

Here we go!

2009-07-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

Upon telling my first trainer about my new horse recently, I was met with all the reasons I should start on the Arab show circuit. After all, my boy has a great show record and is plenty healthy to do it. She's always wanted me to show. I've never been that interested. I find it to be a better opportunity to do something different for him and something that truly interests me... trail/endurance. No, it's not as full of ribbons and shiny slick horses. Which is nice in it's own right but I find that there are just certain disciplines the horses just seem to enjoy their job - distance/trail riding is one of those. All that, suits me. I hate to disappoint her but we're at least trying my idea first. For the first time, ever, I get to make that choice and boy it feels good!

So, this weekend, we are going out. A nice lady whose mare and she have been out of endurance for over a year are getting back in. She was interested in a trail buddy the Old Dominion Endurance Ride Association put her in contact with me... and Wa-lah!

I'm nervous. Shocker, right? Since last time I chronicled some of my fears and it seemed to help me and going to spell out what's worrying me and my plan/s.

We're planning on doing 10 miles which sounds SO far to me but I know it's not that bad. She says he'll surprise me - and I have been very honest about his condition. My boy has been ridden a good bit in the past few months and had lots of turnout in the last 3 weeks so he's not totally out of shape. I WILL be hurting but okay, it's to be expected. We are not planning on going too fast - spurts of long trotting likely the highest gear. She's been asked questions in our conversations that lead me to believe she has his interest in mind. Such as what sort of saddle am I riding in (weight/ability to post) and am I sure it fits him well? I figure if he's looking/acting pretty spent, she won't be upset if we turn back before she'd planned. I of course will turn back either way, in that situation. So, I'm trying to settle into the idea of that distance and be okay with it. After all, that's the whole point right?

There are bridges on this trail. I looked. We've never crossed a bridge and I have no idea but am assuming he has never. I hope he doesn't care. Most likely he'll be a good sport. He isn't big on mud/standing water ... I wonder if there are any creek crossings. No idea how that will go. No, he doesn't get stupid but he surely expresses his displeasure with muddy/wet toes. I will carry my crop just in case but I doubt I'll need it.

He has lost some weight (needed) at his new barn. I have not had a chance to get a smaller girth... he needs a smaller girth now. I will either borrow a smaller leather one or do my best to get to that last hole this weekend. I'm ordering a new smaller girth today.

Electrolytes? I'll go get some. I don't have a saddle bag... I never thought I'd say it but I almost wish I had a fanny pack still for my owner water/treats! Hahaha. I need to take a bucket and maybe some extra stuff for him and hay for the ride.

I don't have shipping boots... but I was told he never got his legs wrapped for rides. Was that in a two horse bumper pull though? I might at least do something... he'll be with a mare he meets for the first time on the trailer and he's got shoes on all four. I'd rather wrap/boot him. Even if it's unnecessary.

I will take our first aid kit and his coggins. His shoes aren't due for several more weeks and they're still looking good - I will check them prior to loading him. Of course I'll be scouring him for ANYTHING prior to loading him that would suggest he isn't well.

I will try and do a couple miles tonight of mostly trotting and gauge how he does.

Anyone else have any suggestions? Even just traveling with him at all is new to me. He's a show horse so the trailering won't bother him (I hope she drives sanely!!!!) but I bet he'll be surprised to see woods instead of a show ground. I think he'll like it. I think I will too. It's our first 'test' though so we'll see. I WILL stay calm and relaxed and have fun. After all, that's the whole point, right?

This is where we're going: Beaverdam Park. Here is the trail guide/map.

I'm excited-nervous. Here we go...

Lady Autumn Blaze

2009-07-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

That look sums up my girl. WHAT? Can I help you?

She's seven this year which constitutes a 'senior' in the dog life. We've been through a lot together in seven years. She was with me four of my six years of college - half of undergrad and all of grad school. Wasn't always easy on her but she'd just give me this look and heaven help me.

She's opinionated. She's hard headed. She's too smart for her own good. She has had my heart from the first time I saw her for all the wrong reasons. She was merely 5 weeks old... 3.4 lbs... and herding a damn horse. A horse. A little brown puff on the heels of a completely oblivious horse - but SHE was sure she was moving it.

I didn't need an Aussie puppy... energy wise I could keep up, yes but time? Barely. I did and nearly flunked myself out of school first semester junior year. I still wouldn't change it. She had my exact eye color and hair color when she was a pup. I visited her once more to put a deposit on her and introduce her to my Cocker Spaniel. Then when I picked her up, her owners husband handed her over... I had my very own puppy...

She pissed all over me. We've never taken the easy route, neither one of us. :)

This is the day I graduated from undergrad. I love this picture.

She has a lump I found a couple weeks back. I'd make an appointment and cancel... think it was smaller. I think I just keep hoping it's smaller. I know it may just be a benign cyst or something easily treatable. It may be cancer. I promised her a long time ago that I woudn't put her through chemo. Often it doesn't buy much time and what it does buy is very tough on them. You can't explain to them WHY they feel so bad after they get that shot at the vet. You can't ask them if they want it. I think they'd rather have a few good days than many very bad. I dunno. Her appointment is an hour and a half away. I'm scared of what they may tell me. I'm kicking myself because I'm probably just dealing with something really treatable.

I just always thought I'd have her forever... I mean I know and knew always I wouldn't but facing that mortality. It just seems too soon but that's how it is with life. Time isn't ever really on our side, is it? Before now a thyroid issue has been the only real issue she's had. Truly I've taken good care of her and she's been a healthy little nugget. I am grateful for that.

I have to pull myself together because she picks up on everything I even consider thinking or feeling. She doesn't mind the vet much and is a good girl. I hope for good news and have braced for bad. Here's to my Autumn... my Boo Bear, Miss Brown, Monkey Butt... she's been there through some of my worst moments and my best. And I will be there for hers. Whatever may come.

(That's her 'worshiping' St. Francis in our back yard from a few weeks ago... actually the neighbors cat/s hide in there and she's on patrol... she'll have no kitty cat nonsense in OUR yard.)

Lions and Tigers and Bears... not so much, actually.

2009-07-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I had a good ride. We warmed up in the ring because he had a pretty swollen bite on his butt, just above his tail head. *sigh* Herd dynamics. It didn't affect his gaits or willingness so I said we were good. I'd gotten there late and didn't have a ton of day light. We went on a short trail ride, alone.

Now... I say Wednesday I had a good ride. Yesterday afternoons ride, was excellent then. However it was much based on the goodness that came from Wednesday.

Yesterday, the ring was occupied as for the occupants and the goings on I didn't feel comfortable sharing the ring. So, without testing for piss and vinegar I hopped on and headed down the trail at a trot.

Wednesday I realized he liked this, going down the trail at a trot and so did I. A lot. We couldn't trot or canter (in my opinion) safely at our last place. The manure was spread on the trails and there were a lot of horses and it piled sorta high and deep. I was terrified of him pulling a tendon, or at the least a shoe. He did once pull a shoe... This ride was the first time I'd really asked for much outside the ring besides a little in an empty field at the last place... not that I hadn't gotten more before a time or two without asking but this, this was fun.

He didn't have as much time to worry about things as they passed trotting by them. Sure, he'd arch his neck and turn to stare at the downed tree or rustle in the woods, but he maintained forward with no hesitation, no lurching. He does, absolutely, like to go. I also stayed more relaxed, after all I was posting and didn't have as much time to ponder if he was worried about something. I wasn't a bundle of raw nerves sitting up there thinking... will he explode? What about now? Does he seem nervous. No time to over analyze. Perfect.

Have I mentioned he's sensitive? Very, very in tune to me. Very. It was the closest to a trail ride with zero fear I'd ever accomplished, Wednesday. We really didn't go to far, sun was going down after all but I felt good and relaxed. He felt good and relaxed. I called it a day after a not so long ride.

What's better?

I'd say yesterday's ride surpassed it by 1000x. We went exploring, again, alone. Except with that new found knowledge that a little more go calmed us both down and the fact that if I keep my hips open and relaxed he really, truly is okay about being alone with me on the trail. Oh, sure he's lookin' but he's not being at all stupid. Just sort of taking it in, it is all new after all.

We trotted around the field, next to the woods and fence, cantered through the hay field - I really let him go a bit. That feels ... so free, out of the ring. His transitions up and down for all gaits were smooth the whole ride zero funny business. We stopped by the BO's house and said hi. We went to the edge of the property, had to pass through a narrow place we had to walk, take the time to consider it. It had a ditch with a broken concrete drainage pipe, trees on all sides and not much room even once we got through - fence on one side, scrubbiness on the other. He didn't like it. I didn't make a fuss, I DID NOT get scared. I let him turn around once, sent him back, without drama. We got a step farther, again he backed and turned, a little more worried but okay I turned him back again without fuss, NO fear... third time he snorted at it and walked past as if he knew I wouldn't insist if it wasn't okay. Scritches and praise were his. Shortly after, a cotton tail bunny flashed across the narrow path and rustled through the low lying brush - he stopped snorted and splayed his feet... and went on. We went back by the barn, circled another hay field and were done.

I was ecstatic and proud. I think he was more tired and hungry but that's okay.

I feel like we can go anywhere all of a sudden. I know he can handle it, if I can. I'm not sure if blogging, talking through some of my fears has helped, just sucking it up or what... but things are falling in to place. I don't expect him to spook and I'm expecting him to go where I point him. He's fulfilling those expectations because he trusts me. I've always trusted him. I just have to keep trusting myself...

Lions and tigers and bears? Please. Bring on. We can fly.

Goooz fraaaabaaaa

2009-07-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

What worries you when you ride or about your horses?

Want to know what worries me? Silly things, I know, but they are real worries that creep in for me. Totally unnecessary, unfounded worries. I'll tell you of my progression mentally and physically...

On the way to the barn I start to think of what we'll do - ring work or trail. I get a knot, either way. A butterfly flutter, blech, tummy knot. Why? I'm heading to the barn to see my lovely after all, who, I am very happy to go see. If I remind myself of THAT I'm fine, for a fleeting second.

Worry #1: I'm terrified for people to watch/see me ride. Seriously. They can SEE me if we're in the ring. I worry I look like a moron bouncing around up there, that I'll reflect poorly on my trainer, my horse and look like a plain ol' fool who should stop disgracing horse kind by trying to ride them.
Worry #2: I worry very much about hurting my horse. I often think that is my greatest fear. Pulling a tendon sending him into bad terrain, back soreness, exacerbate something I missed before riding him... I could put together a long list but you get the idea. It would break my heart to know I CAUSED him pain, even if unintentionally.

Now, WHY do I? Why in the hell would someone worry about that stuff so? At least so often without good reason that someone actually had said something or I actually HAD caused my horse injury.

Worry #1 Roots: I realized after moving to my new barn I have never ridden in front of anyone other than one or two people at a time - usually just the instructor or a barn owner/worker who wasn't paying attention. Starting so late in the horse world which is notoriously catty and often not known for 'acceptance' didn't help because I fully understood some people are standing back making judgement. Also never taking a group lesson, ever, didn't help either. I always rode at smaller barns so it wasn't even another option but private lessons. I also have ALWAYS been cripplingly self conscious on many levels. I played softball very seriously for all my teen years. I wasn't a bad pitcher but I hated it because ALL EYES WERE ON ME. The whole time. I liked catching, my back was to all those eyes and I was just, if not more, involved in controlling the game. I was good though so I KNEW and worked to make sure people didn't have anything bad to say. Appearance-wise and about anything else, one sharp word would turn me to mush inside. I dunno. I realize I shouldn't care what anyone thinks and am working on trying to relax with more people (who aren't even paying attention) being around. Gator, thank heavens, hasn't *completely* picked up on this... other than I'm distracted so he at most is distracted until I forget they're there and focus. What a stupid fear.

Worry #2 Roots: I started in horses mostly, in veterinary medicine and as a young adult. Not only veterinary medicine but a veterinary hospital. I saw and helped treat catastrophic injuries. Daily. That is what I knew. Going out to ambulatory veterinary medicine I realized how rare what I saw was to the regular horse owner. I mean, how many people have seen a horse with literally no hooves? I could tell an owner they're being ridiculous or worrying too much over such things but now, NOW I'm being the ridiculous owner.

Horses can hurt themselves napping (I've seen it), so worrying about injuries as I do is a crazy waste of energy. For instance, I'm trying to lose weight so I'm easier on his back and joints - he's no spring chicken. However, if I'm objective, I am no where NEAR big enough to hurt him. It's silly since I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to avoid preventable injuries, well, short of bubble wrap. I did also worry before because he wasn't 'mine' I was leasing him so there was a guilt factor if I allowed/caused him to injure himself. Now that he's mine, that guilt is at least gone.

With time both of these fears are subsiding, slowly... with light bulb moments and breakthroughs tossed in. Though the first fear, this is truly the first time I've had to face it. Heaven help me if I ever decide to show. I will surely puke. I think time in the saddle with people around will help tremendously.

The other, well, I've realized that cantering him or trotting him outside the arena won't cause his legs to shatter like glass, he's not going to LET me over exert him and the better my position gets the less likely I'll hurt his back. I work hard to improve my riding mostly for his sake. I am realizing he, like most horses, is much tougher than I give him credit for. I still do go over him with a fine tooth come before and after every ride; if nothing else he appreciates the attention and effort. I also think since I waited so long for him, I'm terribly afraid I'll do something stupid to mess it up, like hurt him.

These thoughts roll back in like the tide occasionally, overwhelming me. I just hope that I don't let them hold me back and build up walls not allowing me to do what I want with him. That of course is why some owners never get ON their horses... fears like these, walls built in the mind, most often due to things that most likely will never happen. I try to just breathe and be with him... and it usually works once I'm in the saddle and he demands my attention, in the best of ways.

So, what worries you? What unfounded fears do you cling to despite your attempts to squash them? How do you deal with them? Or am I the only one? Is there hope for my worry weary horse heart?

Those who teach us

2009-07-14T07:58:00.001-07:00

I learned to ride on this horse. He was grumpy, pretended to hate attention (he liked it, secretly) and he made me work. He taught me a lot. I didn't start riding until I was 18. I had been around horses a little. I LOVED them. I was scared of them. I wouldn't admit that, even to myself. I jumped when they moved really fast. Hadn't yet learned to tell the difference between them listening to something behind them and 'flat angry' ears or just grumpy ears. He taught me the difference and how to move properly around him and with him.

Despite the fact I wasn't wearing a helmet (she was a bit old school), my instructor was very careful. Very. She was very worried I would fall off in the 5 acre pasture she taught met to ride in for two summers. I never did. Despite his grumpiness and his occasional antics of work or fly avoidance Twig never actually tried to unseat me. Sure he tried stuff but thanks to my wonderful instructor laying down good basics, taking away my stirrups, not allowing me to use verbal commands only leg, I really learned. She let the field grow and mowed short a track so Twig knew where he should go with me... only a time or two did he 'stray' from that 'track'. I was on a grump but very solid citizen of a horse.

How did I find her? I worked with her at the small animal clinic. I only knew she had horses and had happened to ask if she knew a good place to take lessons in the area. Two weeks later she surprised me saying she'd been an instructor in NC before she and her husband moved and if I wouldn't sue their pants off (per his request) if I fell/got hurt around the horses she'd teach me. Twig needed the extra exercise, she missed teaching and she and I really got along. It was perfect. The little horse loving girl inside me finally felt she was somewhere she was supposed to be. I would have blindly followed anything my instructor said because of that inner little girl. I got really lucky and am still exceedingly thankful for my first my trainer/teacher. She and her Twig laid down some priceless groundwork for me and my future in horses.

Not everyone is so lucky. At all. I watched a little girl and her non-horsey dad doctor their horse last night. I think her trainer is unscrupulous. The horse she had them buy is young and green. When the 'trainer' was training the horse haphazardly over jumps and I watched previously. She told me how the girl that owned him was afraid of him. I didn't realize until last night the 'girl' was a little girl, no older than 12 if not more like 10. There's more that makes it worse - he's lame. I don't think he would be necessarily but for the trainer's ignorance. I'll leave it at that.

The little girl was very good around my horse. Spoke to him when she approached from the rear, asked before she gave him a treat. She moved well around him, he responded very well to her - she was a natural. I hope she doesn't get hurt.

I often think of my road in horses and I was darn lucky. Sure I had a moron in college throw me up on her not retrained OTTB who bucked me off because I was giving him mixed signals (my green reaction to pull back and lean forward when in trouble) and he wasn't having it. I had a bad feeling about riding him but I got on because she said it would be okay. I was lucky but my hip/lower back hurt for a couple weeks; it could have been A LOT worse. I did find a really good instructor after that through a friend who had more sense. The other girl though was just going to put a western saddle on the OTTB and have me continue to ride him. I'm glad I knew better. Had I started riding earlier and not had my first instructor to discuss the situation with, I might not have known to politely decline. I'm glad if I ever have a kid who is interested in horses one day to know better for their sake.

I pray for the rest whose parents know nothing of horses and unscrupulous 'trainers'. Who take the over confident I've done this and that stories to be real experience and knowledge. I hope they see through it before their kid or horse get hurt. I think it keeps happening because kids and horses are pretty resilient. Sadly so are the bad trainers... pop up at the next place once word gets out. As an on-looker who sees it, what do you do? What do you say? What CAN you do? What do horse people in general DO about these trainers? Certification? She is 'certified'. Some of the best trainers I know don't have any sort of 'certification'. She's technically not doing anything illegal. It's tough.

I'll speak up if I need to - especially if a child is in danger. I guess it's just 'how it is'. I hate that. I hope they meet my trainer and make a switch. It'll ruffle feathers but the little girl would be safer.

Here's to good teachers and trainers all over, but especially in the horse world. Here's to good horses and the little girls that fall in love with them.

Chic

2009-07-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

That is my uncle on my dad's favorite horse, Chic. I don't know her registered name but I plan to. I love this picture. I never met that horse but I wish I had. That is the only horse I've ever really heard my dad talk much about.

He would not tell me horse stories. He wanted me far from horses. He would occasionally take me to my grandfathers' barn as a kid on holidays. I think he knew his mistake when I was placed on a horse the first time. I understand why now and he blames the horses for what wasn't their fault and how his dad treated him. I won't go there.

I remember being at either a softball game or practice and he was approached by one of the kids mom's. She told him she thought she had his old mare. His name was on her registration papers. He LIT UP upon hearing his old mare was still alive.

This mare lived to be either close to or in her 40's apparently. I remember my dad quietly called the lady to inquire more about how the mare was doing... I had hoped he'd go see her. I wanted to go. He didn't. I wish he'd have gone... I'd like to think he wishes he'd have gone.

He told me the story of breaking her. Hopped on and went on a trail ride. That's how they broke them - sandwiched between two 'been their done that' horses. I guess she was un-sandwiched at some point because she was doing so well. At some point a flock of doves flew up RIGHT under her nose, she reared. My dad told me he just stepped out of the stirrup, she flipped. She luckily was okay but a bit shaken and they took it easy back home. He said she was a great mare. I believe him.

He had finally started asking if I was going for rides lately. Truly interested. In my whole life he'd never brought up horses TO ME. I nervously told him this weekend I was a new horse owner. He took it pretty well. I look forward to introducing he and my uncle to my horse. They both were farriers for awhile, as was my grandfather - my uncle insists I learn how to shoe/trim. I'd like that. I'm happy to finally be able to share horses with my dad, even if it's just a little bit. I know he loved them, I got him to begrudgingly admit it once. I'd be in heaven if we could take a trail ride together...

1913-2004 Ruby Erlene King

2009-07-03T03:23:00.001-07:00

To the strongest woman I'll ever know - always in my heart. I can't believe it's been 5 years.

Today is a mixed bag for me. Five years ago today I found out I lost this tenacious, busy, talented, wonderful woman that is my grandmother. I also am waking up to run to the barn to see my first horse turned out for the first time in his new barn. Funny the way things are...

P.S. And yes that is me on my first trip to the beach... 1983

The things we tolerate

2009-07-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

So after a sappy story about horse kisses I have to follow up. My boy is mouthy. In my story like so many horse stories, something is portrayed as sweet and cute. In reality, it's not.

I have met my share of mouthy horses. Most I did not care for simply because I was usually working with them. When you're holding a mouthy horse for a veterinary procedure it's annoying as hell to have them nipping/biting at you. You can't always correct them when the doc is underneath them. Well, you can but you risk the vet's noggin and it's your job to help protect that noggin and all the other vet parts at almost all costs. That's at least how seriously I took my responsibility. I did not like mouthy horses much. At all. They made my job more difficult and often owners weren't exactly willing to let me have a 'Come to Jesus' meeting with their sweet Foo-foo-McNips.

My first trainer had a young horse, much like Gator, we'll call this boy Topper. He'd steal your hat, drink out of a soda bottle and if you didn't give it to him flap his lips, pull your shirt generally act like a goof. Rarely, if ever did teeth come into play. If they did, it was usually an accidental pinch and reacting by immediately throwing his head back, expecting punishment. Same with my boy. It's viewed as endearing to those of us that know the horse well when they're nuzzling and licking you. He's showing personality and lets be honest, horses DO show affection with their mouths. I mean, c'mon, ever watched to buddies scratch withers in the field?

However, what crosses the line? I'm sure some people would find Topper and Gator's antics annoying as all get out. I draw the line when they're demanding something and/or actually put the slightest bit of teeth into it. THAT is never okay. They also need to know when we're serious about what's going on and they better be all business. Topper and Gator get that for the most part. They know there is a boundary... I think.

Last night my husband decided to come out to the barn. Gator was less than... super friendly. He's only met hubby maybe 2 or 3 times. Ears 3/4 back, not pinned but not thrilled. Husband approached from the front first trying to pet his face, after being told that's not best, he moved beside for neck pets. Gator started grabbing at him. While my husband is a big tough guy, he's not used to a 1000lb animal nipping at him. It didn't make him comfortable. It pissed me off.

I wasn't pissed at Gator, I was pissed at myself. I let him pull my zipper or grab my sleeve. I am embarrassed to admit it but I tolerate the occasional cheek lick. He was doing the same to my horse inexperienced husband but in a less pleasant way. Now, had he REALLY wanted to bite him, my husband would have a horse teeth shaped mark somewhere on his person. It happens in a flash when they mean it- most of us know that too well. I know he was testing my husband and they do that to new people/herd mates but... what if? I've never seen him be malicious in his intent with a person. His previous owners blame his sire, saying all his male get were mouthy but agree he's never been malicious.

When is what we tolerate every day in our horses thinking it's not a actually a big deal writing it off to personality a REALLY bad thing? Is a little bit okay when they understand the boundary? Do you think genetics can be entirely to blame? Am I enabling a horse shaped monster?

I hope not but I am going to be more mindful of what he gets away with.

And in a second it was gone...

2009-07-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

I was early. I was meeting my boss at a clients barn as it was closer to my place than the office and we'd planned on a very early appointment. This was a good client... but not just any client to me either. You know those people you meet the first time, and you just know they'll be significant in your life? You don't know why or how but you know they will? That's how these clients were.

I pulled in and said hello to the owner and the girl who worked there. My boss was unsurprisingly late. I wandered up and down the barn aisle - the horses were all still in. I held my hand up to nippy nosey babies to smell me and scritch their curious Arab baby faces. I greeted the brood mares and popped in to say hello to a few I knew best with neck rubs. I checked my phone for the time. Gave my boss a call, just to check.

'I just left 10 minutes ago, you're there?' Yep. No biggie, I surely didn't mind waiting around at this barn.

Suddenly, my mind jumped to a certain horse in the barn. He was in the back part of a massive foaling stall that had been divided. Almost hidden away, not forgotten but attention was limited for this horse these days, that I knew. I also knew I thought he was amazing.

I told the owner my boss was a good 20 minutes or so out and asked if she'd mind if I groomed her eldest gelding. She happily agreed and pointed me to a bucket overflowing with currys, brushes, combs and hoof picks. I grabbed the necessary paraphernalia and headed into the first half of the divided stall. There was a 16 hand chestnut yearling, dripping with chrome and awkwardness. He knew me as a friend though he was timid and nuzzled my hand. I scratched his neck and moved to the door in the divider.

The older geldings' ears perked up and he nickered deeply as I unlatched the door to his stall. I closed it behind me and put down the brushes on the dividers ledge only hanging on to the curry. I greeted the bay gelding with some scratches on the neck. Suddenly he lunged forward at the yearling whose curious nature had led him to stretch his neck across the divider towards me. The bay gelding was not pleased with the young upstart nosing into his space. I was a little taken aback and fussed at the bay and popped him on the chest. None of that with me in the stall! The pinned ears and grumpy face were less than friendly but his expression softened quickly once the nosey chestnut retreated.

Standing there, waiting with no real purpose, currying the bay I, as is typical, became quickly lost in my thoughts. I was taking in the lovely horse smell and thinking through the days schedule as I stood facing the bays right side currying away at his back and flank.

Whooooooooooshhh.

Right in my ear. Not a snort but what I interpreted as a blow, and not a friendly one, right next to my face. I could feel the imposing nose just off of my cheek. The ugly pinned eared, teeth barred lunge at the yearling popped into my mind. I had come into the stall with this relatively strange horse and assumed that he would be enjoying my currying him, I had just corrected him... and his teeth were a half inch from my face and he just blew.

My heart hesitated. My breathe caught. Oh shit, the pain is coming was all that I could think.

Suddenly the breath got hotter and was on my cheek. I had not had the time to react, and if I had for some reason I had frozen in my boots. I was sure however, this would not end well...

Slllluuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp.

Chin to ear. He licked me chin. to. ear. And cocked his head just so I was looking right into his eye. He looked as if he were smiling gratefully at me with a mischievously satisfied twinkle in his eye.

I took one step back, drew a breath and about fell over in a fit of laughter. I couldn't help but laugh at my reaction and misinterpretation of his intentions but mostly his expression afterward. I hugged his neck and kept currying until my boss arrived. He was obviously an appreciative horse. In one big wet horse slurp my heart was gone.

A girl had found her horse... and a horse had found his girl.