You make plans, God laughs at them... so true.

This is my horses left butt. Nice eh? :/ Actually they're not very flattering... has some hay belly to work off though huh?

I must say though he's trotting sound and cantering sound - of his own accord. I can not believe how minor his injuries were compared to what I saw when I was on that trailer with him. They are healing AMAZINGLY.

When I clambered into that trailer all I was saw blood all over the divider, a horse that would not bear weight on his left hind, leaning on said divider, sweat drenched, teeth gnashing, bucking, kicking in complete panic. I thought he was somehow impaled on the divider or had somehow broken is leg or hip. I sustained 5-7 pretty good bites in an effort to calm him down. I took a deep breath when I ducked under the chest bar merely seconds after he decided it was okay to stop panicking. I had to FORCE him to back off and get off the divider - I was sure when I pushed him that it was going to be tearing flesh, or he'd fall.

I am so glad I was wrong.

Needless to say, we didn't make it to our first trail/endurance training ride. My boy apparently was claustrophobic on the Brenderup trailer that came to pick us up. It was truly tight for him. They are pretty narrow. I felt claustrophobic when I went on first to load him. He didn't make a fuss, but was unsure. Gator doesn't hesitate for much when he's being led. He checked the mare, stepped up and gingerly backed off twice. No drama, just 'Mom, I dunno about this...' sort of look. Then he came up the ramp and got himself a carrot. He stood quietly as we struggled with the butt bar and loaded everything into the tiny tack compartment and her Land Rover. We didn't get more than 5-10 minutes down the road, luckily. Had we been on the James River Bridge... he'd likely have more than skin off his ass. To be honest, I think he may have flipped that trailer.

I am grateful though. I'm grateful she or I were not hurt. I'm grateful her mare did not panic, nor was she even scratched. I'm grateful the trailer was not destroyed. Grateful those scrapes and bruises were in the location they were. Grateful he backed off that trailer sanely. Grateful he loaded back up on a 3 horse slant without even questioning me - had I just been as panicked as he was, I'm not sure I'd have immediately loaded into another trailer. I'm grateful he is pissy because I'm hosing and medicating him and not riding him. He was throwing a fit yesterday when I put him back up and didn't ride. He wanted to go Saturday.... just not in that trailer.

He'd never been in anything smaller than a two horse slant... I didn't know that at the time but as I loaded him I suspected it. I shouldn't have put him on that trailer. I will never second guess myself like that again. I didn't want to turn away his woman who had so kindly offered to take us on a ride with her. She was also confident it would be okay. Thing is though, I know my horse and I should have listened but since he went on I thought well, he'll be fine. No, I couldn't have known THAT would happen and being a Monday Morning Quarterback is prettty easy. What I do know is that he so obviously has, I will try and forgive myself. I will never, ever put him on something I am not 100% confident he's comfortable with.

He's such a good boy. We were lucky and that's that. Just no tank tops for me for a bit... my left shoulder/arm/trap are um... pretty beat up. Some meds, some hosing and some time and we'll both be perfectly okay. I actually think, since the scrapes aren't that deep I'll be able to regrow most if not all that hair on his rump. If not I'll love him just the same of course. If not more.

On a good note my husband wanted to cheer me up (I think - bless his heart, if not he still succeeded) or just wanted to let Miss Autumn have a swim. She loooves to swim. We moved pretty far from her old swimming hole on the York River which I wasn't a huge fan of anyways (too busy, too much current and not the cleanest river). So we tried this State Park in Surry County I happened to rememver seeing a sign for about 20-25 minutes from our house and Wow! We had a great day on Sunday. It was beautiful. Autumn LOVED it. The girls were tuckered and we WILL be frequenting that park a lot for the rest of the time we live here. It was fantastic. It actually may be where, if I have a choice, I trailer Gator for our next trip off the property. It was quiet and had a good amount of trails (~10 miles). So, to an end comes a very roller coaster-esque weekend. We're all okay and I'm happy and grateful for that.

Here we go!

Upon telling my first trainer about my new horse recently, I was met with all the reasons I should start on the Arab show circuit. After all, my boy has a great show record and is plenty healthy to do it. She's always wanted me to show. I've never been that interested. I find it to be a better opportunity to do something different for him and something that truly interests me... trail/endurance. No, it's not as full of ribbons and shiny slick horses. Which is nice in it's own right but I find that there are just certain disciplines the horses just seem to enjoy their job - distance/trail riding is one of those. All that, suits me. I hate to disappoint her but we're at least trying my idea first. For the first time, ever, I get to make that choice and boy it feels good!

So, this weekend, we are going out. A nice lady whose mare and she have been out of endurance for over a year are getting back in. She was interested in a trail buddy the Old Dominion Endurance Ride Association put her in contact with me... and Wa-lah!

I'm nervous. Shocker, right? Since last time I chronicled some of my fears and it seemed to help me and going to spell out what's worrying me and my plan/s.

We're planning on doing 10 miles which sounds SO far to me but I know it's not that bad. She says he'll surprise me - and I have been very honest about his condition. My boy has been ridden a good bit in the past few months and had lots of turnout in the last 3 weeks so he's not totally out of shape. I WILL be hurting but okay, it's to be expected. We are not planning on going too fast - spurts of long trotting likely the highest gear. She's been asked questions in our conversations that lead me to believe she has his interest in mind. Such as what sort of saddle am I riding in (weight/ability to post) and am I sure it fits him well? I figure if he's looking/acting pretty spent, she won't be upset if we turn back before she'd planned. I of course will turn back either way, in that situation. So, I'm trying to settle into the idea of that distance and be okay with it. After all, that's the whole point right?

There are bridges on this trail. I looked. We've never crossed a bridge and I have no idea but am assuming he has never. I hope he doesn't care. Most likely he'll be a good sport. He isn't big on mud/standing water ... I wonder if there are any creek crossings. No idea how that will go. No, he doesn't get stupid but he surely expresses his displeasure with muddy/wet toes. I will carry my crop just in case but I doubt I'll need it.

He has lost some weight (needed) at his new barn. I have not had a chance to get a smaller girth... he needs a smaller girth now. I will either borrow a smaller leather one or do my best to get to that last hole this weekend. I'm ordering a new smaller girth today.

Electrolytes? I'll go get some. I don't have a saddle bag... I never thought I'd say it but I almost wish I had a fanny pack still for my owner water/treats! Hahaha. I need to take a bucket and maybe some extra stuff for him and hay for the ride.

I don't have shipping boots... but I was told he never got his legs wrapped for rides. Was that in a two horse bumper pull though? I might at least do something... he'll be with a mare he meets for the first time on the trailer and he's got shoes on all four. I'd rather wrap/boot him. Even if it's unnecessary.

I will take our first aid kit and his coggins. His shoes aren't due for several more weeks and they're still looking good - I will check them prior to loading him. Of course I'll be scouring him for ANYTHING prior to loading him that would suggest he isn't well.

I will try and do a couple miles tonight of mostly trotting and gauge how he does.

Anyone else have any suggestions? Even just traveling with him at all is new to me. He's a show horse so the trailering won't bother him (I hope she drives sanely!!!!) but I bet he'll be surprised to see woods instead of a show ground. I think he'll like it. I think I will too. It's our first 'test' though so we'll see. I WILL stay calm and relaxed and have fun. After all, that's the whole point, right?

This is where we're going: Beaverdam Park. Here is the trail guide/map.

I'm excited-nervous. Here we go...

Lady Autumn Blaze

That look sums up my girl. WHAT? Can I help you?

She's seven this year which constitutes a 'senior' in the dog life. We've been through a lot together in seven years. She was with me four of my six years of college - half of undergrad and all of grad school. Wasn't always easy on her but she'd just give me this look and heaven help me.

She's opinionated. She's hard headed. She's too smart for her own good. She has had my heart from the first time I saw her for all the wrong reasons. She was merely 5 weeks old... 3.4 lbs... and herding a damn horse. A horse. A little brown puff on the heels of a completely oblivious horse - but SHE was sure she was moving it.

I didn't need an Aussie puppy... energy wise I could keep up, yes but time? Barely. I did and nearly flunked myself out of school first semester junior year. I still wouldn't change it. She had my exact eye color and hair color when she was a pup. I visited her once more to put a deposit on her and introduce her to my Cocker Spaniel. Then when I picked her up, her owners husband handed her over... I had my very own puppy...

She pissed all over me. We've never taken the easy route, neither one of us. :)

This is the day I graduated from undergrad. I love this picture.

She has a lump I found a couple weeks back. I'd make an appointment and cancel... think it was smaller. I think I just keep hoping it's smaller. I know it may just be a benign cyst or something easily treatable. It may be cancer. I promised her a long time ago that I woudn't put her through chemo. Often it doesn't buy much time and what it does buy is very tough on them. You can't explain to them WHY they feel so bad after they get that shot at the vet. You can't ask them if they want it. I think they'd rather have a few good days than many very bad. I dunno. Her appointment is an hour and a half away. I'm scared of what they may tell me. I'm kicking myself because I'm probably just dealing with something really treatable.

I just always thought I'd have her forever... I mean I know and knew always I wouldn't but facing that mortality. It just seems too soon but that's how it is with life. Time isn't ever really on our side, is it? Before now a thyroid issue has been the only real issue she's had. Truly I've taken good care of her and she's been a healthy little nugget. I am grateful for that.

I have to pull myself together because she picks up on everything I even consider thinking or feeling. She doesn't mind the vet much and is a good girl. I hope for good news and have braced for bad. Here's to my Autumn... my Boo Bear, Miss Brown, Monkey Butt... she's been there through some of my worst moments and my best. And I will be there for hers. Whatever may come.

(That's her 'worshiping' St. Francis in our back yard from a few weeks ago... actually the neighbors cat/s hide in there and she's on patrol... she'll have no kitty cat nonsense in OUR yard.)

Lions and Tigers and Bears... not so much, actually.

Wednesday I had a good ride. We warmed up in the ring because he had a pretty swollen bite on his butt, just above his tail head. *sigh* Herd dynamics. It didn't affect his gaits or willingness so I said we were good. I'd gotten there late and didn't have a ton of day light. We went on a short trail ride, alone.

Now... I say Wednesday I had a good ride. Yesterday afternoons ride, was excellent then. However it was much based on the goodness that came from Wednesday.

Yesterday, the ring was occupied as for the occupants and the goings on I didn't feel comfortable sharing the ring. So, without testing for piss and vinegar I hopped on and headed down the trail at a trot.

Wednesday I realized he liked this, going down the trail at a trot and so did I. A lot. We couldn't trot or canter (in my opinion) safely at our last place. The manure was spread on the trails and there were a lot of horses and it piled sorta high and deep. I was terrified of him pulling a tendon, or at the least a shoe. He did once pull a shoe... This ride was the first time I'd really asked for much outside the ring besides a little in an empty field at the last place... not that I hadn't gotten more before a time or two without asking but this, this was fun.

He didn't have as much time to worry about things as they passed trotting by them. Sure, he'd arch his neck and turn to stare at the downed tree or rustle in the woods, but he maintained forward with no hesitation, no lurching. He does, absolutely, like to go. I also stayed more relaxed, after all I was posting and didn't have as much time to ponder if he was worried about something. I wasn't a bundle of raw nerves sitting up there thinking... will he explode? What about now? Does he seem nervous. No time to over analyze. Perfect.

Have I mentioned he's sensitive? Very, very in tune to me. Very. It was the closest to a trail ride with zero fear I'd ever accomplished, Wednesday. We really didn't go to far, sun was going down after all but I felt good and relaxed. He felt good and relaxed. I called it a day after a not so long ride.

What's better?

I'd say yesterday's ride surpassed it by 1000x. We went exploring, again, alone. Except with that new found knowledge that a little more go calmed us both down and the fact that if I keep my hips open and relaxed he really, truly is okay about being alone with me on the trail. Oh, sure he's lookin' but he's not being at all stupid. Just sort of taking it in, it is all new after all.

We trotted around the field, next to the woods and fence, cantered through the hay field - I really let him go a bit. That feels ... so free, out of the ring. His transitions up and down for all gaits were smooth the whole ride zero funny business. We stopped by the BO's house and said hi. We went to the edge of the property, had to pass through a narrow place we had to walk, take the time to consider it. It had a ditch with a broken concrete drainage pipe, trees on all sides and not much room even once we got through - fence on one side, scrubbiness on the other. He didn't like it. I didn't make a fuss, I DID NOT get scared. I let him turn around once, sent him back, without drama. We got a step farther, again he backed and turned, a little more worried but okay I turned him back again without fuss, NO fear... third time he snorted at it and walked past as if he knew I wouldn't insist if it wasn't okay. Scritches and praise were his. Shortly after, a cotton tail bunny flashed across the narrow path and rustled through the low lying brush - he stopped snorted and splayed his feet... and went on. We went back by the barn, circled another hay field and were done.

I was ecstatic and proud. I think he was more tired and hungry but that's okay.

I feel like we can go anywhere all of a sudden. I know he can handle it, if I can. I'm not sure if blogging, talking through some of my fears has helped, just sucking it up or what... but things are falling in to place. I don't expect him to spook and I'm expecting him to go where I point him. He's fulfilling those expectations because he trusts me. I've always trusted him. I just have to keep trusting myself...

Lions and tigers and bears? Please. Bring on. We can fly.

Goooz fraaaabaaaa

What worries you when you ride or about your horses?

Want to know what worries me? Silly things, I know, but they are real worries that creep in for me. Totally unnecessary, unfounded worries. I'll tell you of my progression mentally and physically...

On the way to the barn I start to think of what we'll do - ring work or trail. I get a knot, either way. A butterfly flutter, blech, tummy knot. Why? I'm heading to the barn to see my lovely after all, who, I am very happy to go see. If I remind myself of THAT I'm fine, for a fleeting second.

Worry #1: I'm terrified for people to watch/see me ride. Seriously. They can SEE me if we're in the ring. I worry I look like a moron bouncing around up there, that I'll reflect poorly on my trainer, my horse and look like a plain ol' fool who should stop disgracing horse kind by trying to ride them.
Worry #2: I worry very much about hurting my horse. I often think that is my greatest fear. Pulling a tendon sending him into bad terrain, back soreness, exacerbate something I missed before riding him... I could put together a long list but you get the idea. It would break my heart to know I CAUSED him pain, even if unintentionally.

Now, WHY do I? Why in the hell would someone worry about that stuff so? At least so often without good reason that someone actually had said something or I actually HAD caused my horse injury.

Worry #1 Roots: I realized after moving to my new barn I have never ridden in front of anyone other than one or two people at a time - usually just the instructor or a barn owner/worker who wasn't paying attention. Starting so late in the horse world which is notoriously catty and often not known for 'acceptance' didn't help because I fully understood some people are standing back making judgement. Also never taking a group lesson, ever, didn't help either. I always rode at smaller barns so it wasn't even another option but private lessons. I also have ALWAYS been cripplingly self conscious on many levels. I played softball very seriously for all my teen years. I wasn't a bad pitcher but I hated it because ALL EYES WERE ON ME. The whole time. I liked catching, my back was to all those eyes and I was just, if not more, involved in controlling the game. I was good though so I KNEW and worked to make sure people didn't have anything bad to say. Appearance-wise and about anything else, one sharp word would turn me to mush inside. I dunno. I realize I shouldn't care what anyone thinks and am working on trying to relax with more people (who aren't even paying attention) being around. Gator, thank heavens, hasn't *completely* picked up on this... other than I'm distracted so he at most is distracted until I forget they're there and focus. What a stupid fear.

Worry #2 Roots: I started in horses mostly, in veterinary medicine and as a young adult. Not only veterinary medicine but a veterinary hospital. I saw and helped treat catastrophic injuries. Daily. That is what I knew. Going out to ambulatory veterinary medicine I realized how rare what I saw was to the regular horse owner. I mean, how many people have seen a horse with literally no hooves? I could tell an owner they're being ridiculous or worrying too much over such things but now, NOW I'm being the ridiculous owner.

Horses can hurt themselves napping (I've seen it), so worrying about injuries as I do is a crazy waste of energy. For instance, I'm trying to lose weight so I'm easier on his back and joints - he's no spring chicken. However, if I'm objective, I am no where NEAR big enough to hurt him. It's silly since I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to avoid preventable injuries, well, short of bubble wrap. I did also worry before because he wasn't 'mine' I was leasing him so there was a guilt factor if I allowed/caused him to injure himself. Now that he's mine, that guilt is at least gone.

With time both of these fears are subsiding, slowly... with light bulb moments and breakthroughs tossed in. Though the first fear, this is truly the first time I've had to face it. Heaven help me if I ever decide to show. I will surely puke. I think time in the saddle with people around will help tremendously.

The other, well, I've realized that cantering him or trotting him outside the arena won't cause his legs to shatter like glass, he's not going to LET me over exert him and the better my position gets the less likely I'll hurt his back. I work hard to improve my riding mostly for his sake. I am realizing he, like most horses, is much tougher than I give him credit for. I still do go over him with a fine tooth come before and after every ride; if nothing else he appreciates the attention and effort. I also think since I waited so long for him, I'm terribly afraid I'll do something stupid to mess it up, like hurt him.

These thoughts roll back in like the tide occasionally, overwhelming me. I just hope that I don't let them hold me back and build up walls not allowing me to do what I want with him. That of course is why some owners never get ON their horses... fears like these, walls built in the mind, most often due to things that most likely will never happen. I try to just breathe and be with him... and it usually works once I'm in the saddle and he demands my attention, in the best of ways.

So, what worries you? What unfounded fears do you cling to despite your attempts to squash them? How do you deal with them? Or am I the only one? Is there hope for my worry weary horse heart?

Those who teach us

I learned to ride on this horse. He was grumpy, pretended to hate attention (he liked it, secretly) and he made me work. He taught me a lot. I didn't start riding until I was 18. I had been around horses a little. I LOVED them. I was scared of them. I wouldn't admit that, even to myself. I jumped when they moved really fast. Hadn't yet learned to tell the difference between them listening to something behind them and 'flat angry' ears or just grumpy ears. He taught me the difference and how to move properly around him and with him.

Despite the fact I wasn't wearing a helmet (she was a bit old school), my instructor was very careful. Very. She was very worried I would fall off in the 5 acre pasture she taught met to ride in for two summers. I never did. Despite his grumpiness and his occasional antics of work or fly avoidance Twig never actually tried to unseat me. Sure he tried stuff but thanks to my wonderful instructor laying down good basics, taking away my stirrups, not allowing me to use verbal commands only leg, I really learned. She let the field grow and mowed short a track so Twig knew where he should go with me... only a time or two did he 'stray' from that 'track'. I was on a grump but very solid citizen of a horse.

How did I find her? I worked with her at the small animal clinic. I only knew she had horses and had happened to ask if she knew a good place to take lessons in the area. Two weeks later she surprised me saying she'd been an instructor in NC before she and her husband moved and if I wouldn't sue their pants off (per his request) if I fell/got hurt around the horses she'd teach me. Twig needed the extra exercise, she missed teaching and she and I really got along. It was perfect. The little horse loving girl inside me finally felt she was somewhere she was supposed to be. I would have blindly followed anything my instructor said because of that inner little girl. I got really lucky and am still exceedingly thankful for my first my trainer/teacher. She and her Twig laid down some priceless groundwork for me and my future in horses.

Not everyone is so lucky. At all. I watched a little girl and her non-horsey dad doctor their horse last night. I think her trainer is unscrupulous. The horse she had them buy is young and green. When the 'trainer' was training the horse haphazardly over jumps and I watched previously. She told me how the girl that owned him was afraid of him. I didn't realize until last night the 'girl' was a little girl, no older than 12 if not more like 10. There's more that makes it worse - he's lame. I don't think he would be necessarily but for the trainer's ignorance. I'll leave it at that.

The little girl was very good around my horse. Spoke to him when she approached from the rear, asked before she gave him a treat. She moved well around him, he responded very well to her - she was a natural. I hope she doesn't get hurt.

I often think of my road in horses and I was darn lucky. Sure I had a moron in college throw me up on her not retrained OTTB who bucked me off because I was giving him mixed signals (my green reaction to pull back and lean forward when in trouble) and he wasn't having it. I had a bad feeling about riding him but I got on because she said it would be okay. I was lucky but my hip/lower back hurt for a couple weeks; it could have been A LOT worse. I did find a really good instructor after that through a friend who had more sense. The other girl though was just going to put a western saddle on the OTTB and have me continue to ride him. I'm glad I knew better. Had I started riding earlier and not had my first instructor to discuss the situation with, I might not have known to politely decline. I'm glad if I ever have a kid who is interested in horses one day to know better for their sake.

I pray for the rest whose parents know nothing of horses and unscrupulous 'trainers'. Who take the over confident I've done this and that stories to be real experience and knowledge. I hope they see through it before their kid or horse get hurt. I think it keeps happening because kids and horses are pretty resilient. Sadly so are the bad trainers... pop up at the next place once word gets out. As an on-looker who sees it, what do you do? What do you say? What CAN you do? What do horse people in general DO about these trainers? Certification? She is 'certified'. Some of the best trainers I know don't have any sort of 'certification'. She's technically not doing anything illegal. It's tough.

I'll speak up if I need to - especially if a child is in danger. I guess it's just 'how it is'. I hate that. I hope they meet my trainer and make a switch. It'll ruffle feathers but the little girl would be safer.

Here's to good teachers and trainers all over, but especially in the horse world. Here's to good horses and the little girls that fall in love with them.

Chic

That is my uncle on my dad's favorite horse, Chic. I don't know her registered name but I plan to. I love this picture. I never met that horse but I wish I had. That is the only horse I've ever really heard my dad talk much about.

He would not tell me horse stories. He wanted me far from horses. He would occasionally take me to my grandfathers' barn as a kid on holidays. I think he knew his mistake when I was placed on a horse the first time. I understand why now and he blames the horses for what wasn't their fault and how his dad treated him. I won't go there.

I remember being at either a softball game or practice and he was approached by one of the kids mom's. She told him she thought she had his old mare. His name was on her registration papers. He LIT UP upon hearing his old mare was still alive.

This mare lived to be either close to or in her 40's apparently. I remember my dad quietly called the lady to inquire more about how the mare was doing... I had hoped he'd go see her. I wanted to go. He didn't. I wish he'd have gone... I'd like to think he wishes he'd have gone.

He told me the story of breaking her. Hopped on and went on a trail ride. That's how they broke them - sandwiched between two 'been their done that' horses. I guess she was un-sandwiched at some point because she was doing so well. At some point a flock of doves flew up RIGHT under her nose, she reared. My dad told me he just stepped out of the stirrup, she flipped. She luckily was okay but a bit shaken and they took it easy back home. He said she was a great mare. I believe him.

He had finally started asking if I was going for rides lately. Truly interested. In my whole life he'd never brought up horses TO ME. I nervously told him this weekend I was a new horse owner. He took it pretty well. I look forward to introducing he and my uncle to my horse. They both were farriers for awhile, as was my grandfather - my uncle insists I learn how to shoe/trim. I'd like that. I'm happy to finally be able to share horses with my dad, even if it's just a little bit. I know he loved them, I got him to begrudgingly admit it once. I'd be in heaven if we could take a trail ride together...

1913-2004 Ruby Erlene King

To the strongest woman I'll ever know - always in my heart. I can't believe it's been 5 years.

Today is a mixed bag for me. Five years ago today I found out I lost this tenacious, busy, talented, wonderful woman that is my grandmother. I also am waking up to run to the barn to see my first horse turned out for the first time in his new barn. Funny the way things are...

P.S. And yes that is me on my first trip to the beach... 1983

The things we tolerate

So after a sappy story about horse kisses I have to follow up. My boy is mouthy. In my story like so many horse stories, something is portrayed as sweet and cute. In reality, it's not.

I have met my share of mouthy horses. Most I did not care for simply because I was usually working with them. When you're holding a mouthy horse for a veterinary procedure it's annoying as hell to have them nipping/biting at you. You can't always correct them when the doc is underneath them. Well, you can but you risk the vet's noggin and it's your job to help protect that noggin and all the other vet parts at almost all costs. That's at least how seriously I took my responsibility. I did not like mouthy horses much. At all. They made my job more difficult and often owners weren't exactly willing to let me have a 'Come to Jesus' meeting with their sweet Foo-foo-McNips.

My first trainer had a young horse, much like Gator, we'll call this boy Topper. He'd steal your hat, drink out of a soda bottle and if you didn't give it to him flap his lips, pull your shirt generally act like a goof. Rarely, if ever did teeth come into play. If they did, it was usually an accidental pinch and reacting by immediately throwing his head back, expecting punishment. Same with my boy. It's viewed as endearing to those of us that know the horse well when they're nuzzling and licking you. He's showing personality and lets be honest, horses DO show affection with their mouths. I mean, c'mon, ever watched to buddies scratch withers in the field?

However, what crosses the line? I'm sure some people would find Topper and Gator's antics annoying as all get out. I draw the line when they're demanding something and/or actually put the slightest bit of teeth into it. THAT is never okay. They also need to know when we're serious about what's going on and they better be all business. Topper and Gator get that for the most part. They know there is a boundary... I think.

Last night my husband decided to come out to the barn. Gator was less than... super friendly. He's only met hubby maybe 2 or 3 times. Ears 3/4 back, not pinned but not thrilled. Husband approached from the front first trying to pet his face, after being told that's not best, he moved beside for neck pets. Gator started grabbing at him. While my husband is a big tough guy, he's not used to a 1000lb animal nipping at him. It didn't make him comfortable. It pissed me off.

I wasn't pissed at Gator, I was pissed at myself. I let him pull my zipper or grab my sleeve. I am embarrassed to admit it but I tolerate the occasional cheek lick. He was doing the same to my horse inexperienced husband but in a less pleasant way. Now, had he REALLY wanted to bite him, my husband would have a horse teeth shaped mark somewhere on his person. It happens in a flash when they mean it- most of us know that too well. I know he was testing my husband and they do that to new people/herd mates but... what if? I've never seen him be malicious in his intent with a person. His previous owners blame his sire, saying all his male get were mouthy but agree he's never been malicious.

When is what we tolerate every day in our horses thinking it's not a actually a big deal writing it off to personality a REALLY bad thing? Is a little bit okay when they understand the boundary? Do you think genetics can be entirely to blame? Am I enabling a horse shaped monster?

I hope not but I am going to be more mindful of what he gets away with.

And in a second it was gone...

I was early. I was meeting my boss at a clients barn as it was closer to my place than the office and we'd planned on a very early appointment. This was a good client... but not just any client to me either. You know those people you meet the first time, and you just know they'll be significant in your life? You don't know why or how but you know they will? That's how these clients were.

I pulled in and said hello to the owner and the girl who worked there. My boss was unsurprisingly late. I wandered up and down the barn aisle - the horses were all still in. I held my hand up to nippy nosey babies to smell me and scritch their curious Arab baby faces. I greeted the brood mares and popped in to say hello to a few I knew best with neck rubs. I checked my phone for the time. Gave my boss a call, just to check.

'I just left 10 minutes ago, you're there?' Yep. No biggie, I surely didn't mind waiting around at this barn.

Suddenly, my mind jumped to a certain horse in the barn. He was in the back part of a massive foaling stall that had been divided. Almost hidden away, not forgotten but attention was limited for this horse these days, that I knew. I also knew I thought he was amazing.

I told the owner my boss was a good 20 minutes or so out and asked if she'd mind if I groomed her eldest gelding. She happily agreed and pointed me to a bucket overflowing with currys, brushes, combs and hoof picks. I grabbed the necessary paraphernalia and headed into the first half of the divided stall. There was a 16 hand chestnut yearling, dripping with chrome and awkwardness. He knew me as a friend though he was timid and nuzzled my hand. I scratched his neck and moved to the door in the divider.

The older geldings' ears perked up and he nickered deeply as I unlatched the door to his stall. I closed it behind me and put down the brushes on the dividers ledge only hanging on to the curry. I greeted the bay gelding with some scratches on the neck. Suddenly he lunged forward at the yearling whose curious nature had led him to stretch his neck across the divider towards me. The bay gelding was not pleased with the young upstart nosing into his space. I was a little taken aback and fussed at the bay and popped him on the chest. None of that with me in the stall! The pinned ears and grumpy face were less than friendly but his expression softened quickly once the nosey chestnut retreated.

Standing there, waiting with no real purpose, currying the bay I, as is typical, became quickly lost in my thoughts. I was taking in the lovely horse smell and thinking through the days schedule as I stood facing the bays right side currying away at his back and flank.

Whooooooooooshhh.

Right in my ear. Not a snort but what I interpreted as a blow, and not a friendly one, right next to my face. I could feel the imposing nose just off of my cheek. The ugly pinned eared, teeth barred lunge at the yearling popped into my mind. I had come into the stall with this relatively strange horse and assumed that he would be enjoying my currying him, I had just corrected him... and his teeth were a half inch from my face and he just blew.

My heart hesitated. My breathe caught. Oh shit, the pain is coming was all that I could think.

Suddenly the breath got hotter and was on my cheek. I had not had the time to react, and if I had for some reason I had frozen in my boots. I was sure however, this would not end well...

Slllluuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp.

Chin to ear. He licked me chin. to. ear. And cocked his head just so I was looking right into his eye. He looked as if he were smiling gratefully at me with a mischievously satisfied twinkle in his eye.

I took one step back, drew a breath and about fell over in a fit of laughter. I couldn't help but laugh at my reaction and misinterpretation of his intentions but mostly his expression afterward. I hugged his neck and kept currying until my boss arrived. He was obviously an appreciative horse. In one big wet horse slurp my heart was gone.

A girl had found her horse... and a horse had found his girl.