Lady Autumn Blaze

That look sums up my girl. WHAT? Can I help you?

She's seven this year which constitutes a 'senior' in the dog life. We've been through a lot together in seven years. She was with me four of my six years of college - half of undergrad and all of grad school. Wasn't always easy on her but she'd just give me this look and heaven help me.

She's opinionated. She's hard headed. She's too smart for her own good. She has had my heart from the first time I saw her for all the wrong reasons. She was merely 5 weeks old... 3.4 lbs... and herding a damn horse. A horse. A little brown puff on the heels of a completely oblivious horse - but SHE was sure she was moving it.

I didn't need an Aussie puppy... energy wise I could keep up, yes but time? Barely. I did and nearly flunked myself out of school first semester junior year. I still wouldn't change it. She had my exact eye color and hair color when she was a pup. I visited her once more to put a deposit on her and introduce her to my Cocker Spaniel. Then when I picked her up, her owners husband handed her over... I had my very own puppy...

She pissed all over me. We've never taken the easy route, neither one of us. :)

This is the day I graduated from undergrad. I love this picture.

She has a lump I found a couple weeks back. I'd make an appointment and cancel... think it was smaller. I think I just keep hoping it's smaller. I know it may just be a benign cyst or something easily treatable. It may be cancer. I promised her a long time ago that I woudn't put her through chemo. Often it doesn't buy much time and what it does buy is very tough on them. You can't explain to them WHY they feel so bad after they get that shot at the vet. You can't ask them if they want it. I think they'd rather have a few good days than many very bad. I dunno. Her appointment is an hour and a half away. I'm scared of what they may tell me. I'm kicking myself because I'm probably just dealing with something really treatable.

I just always thought I'd have her forever... I mean I know and knew always I wouldn't but facing that mortality. It just seems too soon but that's how it is with life. Time isn't ever really on our side, is it? Before now a thyroid issue has been the only real issue she's had. Truly I've taken good care of her and she's been a healthy little nugget. I am grateful for that.

I have to pull myself together because she picks up on everything I even consider thinking or feeling. She doesn't mind the vet much and is a good girl. I hope for good news and have braced for bad. Here's to my Autumn... my Boo Bear, Miss Brown, Monkey Butt... she's been there through some of my worst moments and my best. And I will be there for hers. Whatever may come.

(That's her 'worshiping' St. Francis in our back yard from a few weeks ago... actually the neighbors cat/s hide in there and she's on patrol... she'll have no kitty cat nonsense in OUR yard.)