Two Year Anniversary in Asheville, NC

This one was at Chimney Rock Park. It was raining but we went hiking anyways because it rained the day before and the girls were not impressed with this 'vacation' we'd talked up so much. So we said who cares. We could see NOTHING of the views which are spectacular thanks to the heavy fog. Probably okay though, there were over 450 stairs to go up and down with the girls to get to the top of the Chimney Rock. No dogs in the elevator (except of the service variety). We did all the other trails the waterfall was the prettiest.

We took the Blue Ridge Parkway on our way out. The clouds had cleared... some. So we got a few good fall foliage shots these are just a couple. Two wabba heads are blocking the first one though.

These were taken on Grandfather Mountain. This was some serious hiking compared to the day before. Climbing up down and over large slick boulders is interesting with dogs on leashes. Their 'wait' command was so, so, so necessary. Lily led because Autumn was very spun up and does pull when excited. Lily was listening exceptionally well so she and I led. The top pic with Mike and the girls... the girls may look nervous. Well, they were. We're pretty sure there was a bear nearby but yes we snapped a picture because why not? Lily was really worried sniffing every leaf along the trail edge and Autumn just wanted to go 'get' something in that area. Mike thought he smelled something rather awful too. I didn't but I'd had a headache all week and decided we should listen to Lily. She's a good trail guide it turns out.

After we got to the very rocky end of the trail... we found out that trail was closed. Possibly because of the fog... or bears. At the beginning there was a sign that bear had been spotted that we hadn't taken too seriously. So, I'm just glad we didn't see any. We took another trail back to the lower parking lot it was a bit easier going. Also decided to forego the main attraction here too (the Mile High Bridge) as many, many people were up there and I figure the girls would have behaved but been nervous so high up on a bridge. The fog was blocking the view at that elevation still so... back down the very rocky trail we went.

This is just Autumn showing us all how a pillow should be fluffed. She the best pillow fluffer. Ever.

Her daddy was loading the car to go. She was content with staying. She parked herself there and wasn't all that interested in leaving. I think vaction was okay with the girls. Mike and I had fun too. It was really fun to take them along. I think they made us do more outdoorsey things which we both really enjoyed too, despite the less than cooperative weather.

Horse Song

(photo by Jamie Williams)

Ha... it seems singing is so common with equestrians or humming to calm yourself and your horse. I thought I'd discovered something unique to me when I started doing it... how he visibly relaxed and so did I. :) Then the more blogs I read the more I found out it's so common - especially those that ride alone. I think the wonderful Sally Swift even suggests it, says you have to breath if you're talking or singing to your horse... but don't quote me on that. I don't have the book with me. However, I did most definitely used to hold my breath.

I remember the first time, on a day I was especially nervous I sang ... he'd apparently not had someone sing from his back. His head came up, his ears went CRAZY... 'What, mom?' Not sure if it was cue he didn't know or what. And then he just settled after a bit. Now he cocks one ear back and relaxes.

I usually sing 'Rodeo Road'. Holly Williams sings it and it was on the Flicka soundtrack. Yes, I liked a song out of Flicka (the movie makes me mad though...) embarrassing, but I like the song. Sort of depressing song but very calming... at least to me.


'When I reach the end of Rodeo Road
Don't shed no tears for me
When I reach the end of Rodeo Road
Set my pony free.

From a stick horse
To a quarter horse
The saddle has been my home
I've always walked in leather boots
I've always rode alone.

When i reach the end of Rodeo Road
Don't shed no tears for me
When I reach the end of Rodeo Road
Set my pony free...'


To be honest, reading the lyrics they are depressing. I can be that way though so it sort of fits. I'm a pretty solitary person too. Also before I even rode, I always saw myself doing it. When I started riding I really did feel at home there. Some people retreat to others, I retreat within - you can do that with horses. They don't pester you. So... yeah, that's where I go now.

I sing a few other things too but mostly that song when I'm really nervous and nothing else comes to mind. I think he likes the 'free pony' part and maybe hearing I feel at home there, with him. He also, I assume prefers if I sing 'Arab horse' instead of 'Quarter horse'. Understandable really.

Anyways... in addition here's a cool website to check out. I love it. The pics and stories are amazing. I bet if you haven't seen it, most of you guys will love it too. Enjoy!

Where'd my Mojo go?

My drive to the barn was panicky. I keep fearing I'm going to show up to a three legged lame horse. I know it's stupid. I really do. I have mentioned though I have great fear over hurting him though right?

Anyways... I get to the barn, the vet is there doing shots on the last gaggle of new horses that had arrived to board there a week ago. I decide I better grab him quick in case he's off since the vet is already on site. I also grab another very horse experienced girl to get her opinion on his soundness. I don't *think* I see anything... but what I see I think I'm imagining or am I missing something... The swelling actually did look slightly better today.

I go to free lounge him in the round pen. I'd forgot to grab a whip. Guess who decided to only trot small evasive circles only as he pleased... but still very up. Grrr... She laughed and said no need to put him down just yet, of course kidding. She said ride. I know him well enough I'll feel a difference and I should go ride. I know she's right. I tack him up.

Take him to the ring. Everyone seems to have apparated at this point. Stretch and such as we walk two full laps both ways on the rail then I ask for a trot.

Off we went... several laps of the trot and stretching his back, his head is down (almost too far... durn peanut roller...) and I don't *think* I feel any irregularity in the gait. I try and count the beats and they seem rhythmic. Good. I ask for him to extend a little because he's being pokey and looky - two, three, four strides with more and more extension, and canter! Well then. It was also QUITE forward. Half halt, he really listened. I guess you don't feel too bad do ya' buddy? I let him canter a few laps - first time cantering in this saddle. I barely shifted weight into my seat to ask for the extended gait and got a canter... hmmm... Reversed. Cue for canter - no ears flattened no fuss, just departed. Saddle must feel pretty good to him. No slippage. No problems. Our downward transitions are smoother... way smoother. He rebalanced much faster and easier. Actually listened to light half halts and fell easily back into a trot. Interesting.

Now what about me? I'm not sure if I'm just not used to the deeper seat but it was the first time I thought should I have a tinge more room - though I felt VERY secure though. I *think* I'm just not used to the deeper seat yet.

I decide we should go for a short hack. We open the gate - he was a bit impatient but it's not allowed anymore and it only took three tries. He's starting to 'get' opening the gate. We do it my way or no way. We also shut the gate. That was new and he did very well.

He was more interested in going back to the barn than down the trail. He's always goofier in the evenings and it was quite cool and he hasn't been worked hard at all in... oh, over a week easily. I expected this.

Every third step he tries to turn back. Block. Tries to turn the other way. Block. If I blocked too hard he'd trot -but did come back down easily which was nice. But oh was he so worried! He's a faker. He wants his dinner. I start singing or talking to him, he relaxes and goes on. Something in the woods he *thinks* of starting at and doesn't. I realized I'm sort of tense - 'butt clenchy'. Talk, try and relax. Bam - something sets him off. I think he imagined it. I totally grab his face. Damnit. I haven't done that in forever ... he runs after I get in his mouth. Of course he does. Damnit.

And we're galloping. He's not too interested in stopping but we're in a big hay field on the path cut for riding so I know it wasn't unsafe so I don't slam him into a one rein stop either. I think I felt bad for grabbing his mouth when he jumped. He did slow and he did come to a complete stop though when I asked and actually stood. The BO had been cutting hay in the field and we'd come up on a parked rake that I could tell he didn't like but he'd stopped not too far from it and stood anyways. I pat his neck and try to make myself relax - I wasn't scared just my whole damn body was tense - especially my lower back. I think I was avoiding sitting deep... was I STILL worried about him being lame and me hurting him? Yup. Am I already this weak from not riding for a week?

We go past the BO's house, he's snorty at a trailer we've passed 100 times but not THAT side but he walks on happy to be going back to the barn.

I'm counting his foot falls down the soft road- is he off? I didn't want him to gallop that was probably too much. Yes, he's off... wait, no. Rhythmic. He's just tense. I was tense. I shouldn't have expected anything less.

I groomed him until the BO came to turn in. He was very lovey. I think he's trying to figure out why I keep babying him and why we aren't doing more.

Oh... I'm not sure his saddle had caused 'pressure points' as I had thought first ride. In the not great light of the barn, I think last time I was just seeing the pattern of wave in his lengthening coat. In fact, he didn't sweat much at all even galloping a bit last night so I doubt he was sweating much Saturday either. We only trotted a very little bit and did a easy 30 minute trail ride Saturday. I think the saddle is a definite keeper.

I need to settle the flip down. I am telling myself over and over why he's fine and how I know he's fine. I'm mad I rode like an idiot. I hate that I grabbed his mouth - I'd worked so hard to STOP doing that when he spooks. He goes no where if I stay out of his mouth. He doesn't spook much if I'm not tense. Two steps forward three back I guess... gotta get back out there to find my mojo, that's all. And reeeelax.

Sorta back in the saddle

EEEeeek. These aren't very flattering... I should have hoisted myself in two point prior to her snapping them to bring my leg back and then sat but didn't think of it. Was just trying to get my way too big t-shirt out of the way... which looks weird. Plus they were in a hurry to get home so I felt bad holding them up. Whatever. I'm sitting a LOT on my bum here ... but do you think this saddle looks like a reasonable fit for me? I feel good in it and get about 3 solid fingers from the cantel to muh bum though in this pic you may not believe it...

His hock is still swollen - I can't see lameness though. I might but I think I'm imagining what I do see. Went on a trail ride with 3 other horses yesterday (after the free lounging sound and the vet telling me to work him and nix the bute) - he was perfect. Well, except for eating everything he could reach. We were the tail, so I couldn't boot him forward without running him up the butt of the gelding in front of us so I kept tipping his nose to me and stealing his 'finds'. It was a 30 minute or so walk. After this pic today I pulled off the saddle, lounged him and rode him at walk bareback to see if I could feel anything 'off'. Not really. I would just feel SO much better if the swelling would just leave. Go. Be gone swelling on one of the most important joints of my horse... BE GONE. I don't have the heart to work him hard if there's inflammation in there and he is on turnout. So, sent him fluid dissipating wishes...

Golden Years

My trainer texted me this morning. She's visiting her parents. It was as a vacation but I think it's turned in to more than that. Her dad is in pretty rough shape. He has been and she knew that but she didn't realize it was so bad. He doesn't recognize her and I think he's becoming violent with her mom.

She said she may have to stay for awhile to get things settled and help her mom.

My heart aches for her.

I remember how gut wrenching it was to decide to put Grandma in a home. I remember though how hard it was at the end to properly care for her in her house and how very hard it was on my mother.

As the seasons change and with this news I can't help but think of the seasons of life. My Paw-paw always said his retirement was is second childhood. He'd always laugh when he'd say it and give me a wink, as Grandma would roll her eyes.

It was hard to get through his illnesses - kidney dialysis is not fun. I'm pretty sure he'd have just told them to stop and let him die if it weren't for us.

My grandmother slowly just lost her mobility to arthritis and her mind to dementia. I didn't always understand she wasn't herself when I was a teen. I remember once when she screamed at my mother at dinner. She started with how horrible my moms cooking was, nothing was right, and she growled that all her problems started when my mom was born. I had never been so angry at my grandmother than at that moment. How could she be so ungrateful? How could she not see how much my mom was sacrificing to care for her? The look on my mom's face ... I exploded. My mom stared at her food, fighting back tears in my grandmothers kitchen. I don't remember what my father did. I told my grandmother she'd never see me again if she spoke to my mother like that again. I didn't understand it wasn't her talking at that moment it was pretty early still in her dementia and I wasn't wholly accustomed to the bitter anger she had begun to display. I guess I did know she wasn't herself but it was too much to just take in that moment.

It was the only time I ever wasn't patient with her though. Non-stop repetitive questions - is soandso still alive? I was used to that. I'd answer. She'd cry. Then she'd start asking again and we'd do it all over. I didn't mind helping her with anything - even the more unpleasant stuff like going to the bathroom or baths. I almost remember fondly arguing with her over the fact she HAD had a bowel movement that week - she'd forgotten and would worry herself over it. Even with moments that would could smile about it or those that she'd remember again, it still took it's toll on us all.

Once she was in the home she was never mean. She just wanted to go home - but she wanted to go to her parents home we realized. It was good for mom not to have to do everything, though she still spent much of her time there. It was all very hard. No matter what we did and even still I miss her so much. Even the crazy version of her.

I wouldn't wish it on my enemies to have to care for a family member in that mental and physical state, yet it taught me so much.

I hate to hear my instructor may be MIA here for awhile but I know others I can do lessons with. However, to be honest that is the last thing I even thought of when she sent the text. I hate for her that her dad in such a shape. I think it's very much taken a toll on her mother, she just didn't know how much. She's a wonderful person who I know will do her best by her parents but my heart truly goes out to her. Those years may be golden but often there isn't much glitter to it... but that's life, I guess.